Elves Shouldn't Be Allowed
by Dark-Sylph
Summary: A faulty time machine, a 17 year old girl stuck in an elf's body, and a whole troupe of characters dreading what the new wierdo from Mirkwood's going to do next! Elladan stands in for Orlando Bloom, and Legolas takes a turn as matchmaker for once.
1. Never Trust Little Brothers

_Number One: Since a time story sounded funny I decided to give it a whirl. _

_Number Two: Yes, there is a tiny bit of romance in here just 'coz I decided to try writing even a LITTLE bit._

_Number Three: REVIEW!_

"Kelly, I finished it!" Matt ran over to me clutching a strange looking hat in his left hand while his right began hitting the top of my head with excitement.

Shoving him away, I rubbed my head feeling extremely grumpy as he had just interrupted my reading. "What have you finished? That science project that you were supposed to turn in two weeks ago?"

"My time machine!" he said, his eyes shining with the joy of accomplishment. "Remember, I started working on it last year and I've finally finished it!"

"Oh yes, and how have you done something that myriads of others have tried, without success I might add." Like anyone in my position, I was exceptionally skeptical.

"Because they never thought to use their grandmother who is a witch of the order of Atlantis!"

"You didn't! How many times has mother told us to stay away from that old bat? You are such an idiot! If she ever finds out we'll both be grounded for life!"

"Well thanks for your congrats, they've given me a lot of confidence. Come on, Kelly, she only gave me certain things to make it fully operational. I only stayed with her a couple hours." His big blue eyes pleaded with me to ask him anything about his wondrous invention.

Rolling my eyes, I took a deep breath. "How do you know it works?"

"Because," his eyes began to shine ominously, "you can't find these kinds of helmets anyplace but in museums and you know full well I don't steal." He held up what I had thought was a hat and handed it to me.

It was heavy but small, very small. It seemed to be iron with gold overlaying it with a cross in the front for the wearer to breathe and see what was going on. What gave it away, however, was the crest of red horsehair that ran from front to back. Saying I was astonished is an understatement, flabbergasted more like. My mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water and it took me a while to make a sound. I finally croaked out, "Where did you get a Roman helmet?"

"Like I said, I figured out how my time machine worked and tested it on myself. You know how I like Ancient Roman history so I went there. Was gone for two hours I believe and had enough time to filch this helmet from an army dump. Cool, isn't it?"

"More than cool! Awesome! Can I do it? Please, please, please!" I had suddenly become a believer and what I wouldn't give to go back in time to the Wild West.

Matt, on the other hand, had not forgotten my skepticism of before and snorted belligerently, "Why should I let you? I really shouldn't you know, you've been very nasty to me."

"I will be an angel to you always if you let me take a little ride!" Now I didn't usually beg but under these circumstances, I bet anyone would've. "I'll be back within an hour."

"No you wouldn't."

"Yes I would. Really, just a glimpse would be enough for me."

Matt heaved a huge sigh and stood there with his hands against his chin as if thinking very hard. Finally, he exhaled loudly, "I suppose I can let you go for a little bit, but there's one condition."

"What's that?"

"You have to stay wherever you are for a whole week!"

I was dumbfounded. "How in the heck would we be able to convince Mom I ran away for a week? Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not." He grinned evilly. "With my time machine, you can be gone as long as you wish and arrive back here precisely when you left."

My eyes must've been as big as dinner plates by then and I couldn't speak. Matt pulled me up and dragged me toward his little workshop that was a decent ways from the house and yanked me inside, slamming the door behind us. I stared wildly around, expecting to see some huge, silver machine standing in a corner; I didn't see anything.

"Where is it?"

"Right here." He lifted a small brown disk as big as a small car's tire from his desk and held it out to me. I restrained myself from grabbing it and waited to see what he wanted me to do. "Touch that orange pad and I'll make the proper coordinates for your traveling." He began to punch buttons and turn dials.

After a while he finished and said, "I forgot to mention something. To get back you have to have this." He held up a small silver wristband that looked just like fancy bracelet in a jewelry store.

I reached out for it but he put it back down on the shelf. Feeling puzzled, I peered into his eyes and saw something very, very disturbing. "Grandmother said you shouldn't be here anymore, Kelly. She said Mom and Dad would pay more attention to me if I got rid of you, well now I found out how to do it." He face twisted into an evil smile. "Goodbye, Kelly."

"Wait!" I was desperate now. Surely he wouldn't send me to somewhere, never to return, would he? "Are you telling me that you lied about the time?"

"Of course I did, but don't try to attack me because in about ten seconds you'll be gone. I'll tell Mom and Dad that you were so disgusted with them and your life that you decided to kill yourself. They'll believe me."

"Matt, your absolutely crazy! It was grandmother wasn't it. She put a spell on you and now you think…"

But it was too late. Everything went black and murky; things whirled around me too dark to make anything out. I got so dizzy that I think I passed out because the next thing I knew, someone was poking me in the ribs.


	2. Middle Earth? What's that?

**_Okey dokey, a few things need to be explained here. I mentioned a certain Rhov (or Rhovanion Rilien) and he is the hero of my story "Mischief in Middle Earth" so yes, you will have to read to understand several things that may confuse you. Secondly, all blonds beware, blond jokes will be used in this story from time to time so if you don't have a good sense of humor do not and I repeat do NOT read this story. I think that's all...I will be answering any questions that come up in the reviews on my next chapter (won't be out for a while). Have fun! REVIEW!_**

"Quit it!" I yelled, my voice slightly muffled in a heap of damp leaves. The poking stopped but several voices began to argue in a strange language I'd never heard before. Pushing myself up from the ground, I rubbed my forehead, telling myself it was all just a very bad dream. Leaves and dirt fell from my hair and head making me feel very grimy.

Once my head cleared and I quit being dizzy, I was able to take in everything around me. I was in a dark, dank, very damp forest and… Who the heck were they? Oh, no! Hippies! They all had long blond hair, wore weird clothing, and spoke strangely. One of them noticed me watching and lifted his hand, which shut the others up.

"Who are you? You are no elf, that I can see, but you do not look like the sons of men." The blondest, bluest eyed one said. Gag, I hate blond hair.

"I'm not saying anything to a bunch of hippies high on marijuana thank you very much. My mother always said to not talk to strangers and in this case I most certainly will heed her advice." My crazy brother must've sent me back to the 60's; he knows I hate that period of history.

All the wierdos blinked in unison and turned toward each other, whispering in their weird language (if it _was_ a language). The really blond one stared at me, almost in disbelief.

"Do you not know where you are and who you are talking to?"

"Don't know don't care, buster." I sniffed, feeling slightly smug that I'd thrown these idiots off.

"I am the Prince of all Mirkwood and these are my followers. We have been very merciful in not killing you the moment we spotted your body lying in the leaves! We shall take you to the palace I think, this is now out of my hands."

"Get a life, stupid. Not only can you NOT fool me with that stupid 'I'm the Prince of Mirkwood' baloney but may I add you are ABSOLUTELY CRAZY!" The last bit came out as a scream. "I AM ABSOLUTELY CRAZY! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING; YOU ARE JUST IN MY DREAM! I'M DREAMING, JUST DREAMING!"

Ok, so I got a little hysterical, but you have to understand I had just been told by my little brother that he hated me (for reasons unknown), got sent back to somewhere I didn't know, and had been told that I was talking to the Prince of Mirkwood. Now how many people do you know that could have stayed completely calm through that whole episode. Not many I'll bet.

They all stared at me while I began screaming my head off until one of them at the presence of mind to knock me over the head with what looked like the haft of a knife. I went out like a light.

* * *

Legolas stared down at the prone form with eyes as wide as serving platters. Never before had he heard such an earsplitting racket as this human had emitted. Was it some kind of ancient language or was it a signal to its fellows? Whatever it had done, they could not leave it here to give information to its companions (if that was its purpose) or killed by some wild animal, as Legolas had never left a helpless anything to its fate.

With some discussion between himself and Hanath (a trusted friend), the other elves picked up the girl to carry her to the Elvenking's palace. She was lighter than they thought and Hanath carried her easily enough. The whole company was silent during the trip all thinking of where such a human could come from, where they let their woman dress in _pants_ no less.

When they arrived at the gate to the Elvenking's palace, Legolas sent word to his father to come immediately to the dungeons. Meanwhile, the elves deposited the girl in a relatively comfortable cell and left as quickly as they could.

Thranduil and Legolas watched the girl while the young elf explained to his father. The Elvenking held up his hand when Legolas mentioned the foreign word "marijuana".

"Do you know what she meant by it?"

"I'm afraid I don't. But she wasn't making any sense at all so it was very hard to follow her."

"I see…"

"Should you speak to her after she wakes up?"

"Nay, we will let her stay down here for several days. Tell the guards to feed her well but to stay away. Who knows, she may be some witch of the Haradrim, you saw how dark her skin was."

"Very well, Father." Both exited, neither knowing that this strange human would make just as much trouble as Rhovanion Rilien had. And that's saying a lot.

* * *

I woke up to the darkness that usually is associated with dungeons, feeling hungry, sick, and confused all at the same time. Since hippies wouldn't put a person in a dungeon, I decided to assume I was in the Middle Ages. Not a bad place to be but I could think of better spots.

"Here is your food, human."

"Gee thanks, you're too kind." I said, my voice dripping sarcasm. The dude, whoever he was, didn't see to understand it and bowed, seemingly surprised. Great, they didn't know what sarcasm was.

"You are most welcome, human."

"Ok, buster, first I am not just a human, I'm a girl. Second, why the heck am I in here?" I said, waving my hand around the dungeon.

"We are in dangerous times and strangers are not welcome." He replied, almost sorrowfully. "But perhaps if you tell the council who you are, perhaps they will let you stay as a guest."

"Well wouldn't I just _love_ to stay here all my life? Wherever here is."

He blinked and stared at me for a moment. "Do you not know where you are?" When I shook my head, he sighed and sat down on a bench across from my dungeon door. "Mirkwood is to the East of the Misty Mountains and West of the Long Lake. Gondor and Rohan are to the South. We are part of the Wilderland of Middle Earth."

"Middle Earth?"

He blinked again. I swear he was beginning to look like an owl. "Middle Earth is East of the land of the Valar. Lady, do you not know where you are?" he asked again.

Well, duh. Did I look like I knew where I was? "Are you sure that the true name of your continent isn't Australia or something?"

"I do not understand what you mean by continent." He said, his face becoming a perfect picture of confusion.

Deciding to take a different tack, "Never mind. What year is it?"

"2956 of the Third Age."

My mouth flapped open like fish and I couldn't breathe for a couple seconds. 2956 of the _Third _Age? The guy jumped up and pressed close to the bars. "Are you alright?"

"No." I squeaked. "I can't… breathe…" Panic enveloped his face and tore off down the hall, probably to get the psychiatrist or something. My breath came out in short gasps as I realized that yes, my brother probably did mean to send me back to the really Dark Ages or something but must've made a mistake in his calculations and I'd ended up in a different world! With that thought, I completely broke down as I realized not only could I _not_ get back home but also there was no way for my brother (if he had change of heart of course) to get me back!

It hit me with stunning pain that I would never see Mom and Dad, my family, my friends, my home, nothing ever again. I sat down with a thump and buried my face in my knees as I completely lost control and began wailing.

Sure you can talk about 'Get a grip, girl' or 'What a crybaby' but you try to fathom being totally cut off from everyone and everything you've ever known. You wouldn't be laughing then I'll bet. Voices began outside my cell door but I was in no mood to speak and just continued on wailing.

* * *

"What did you say to her, Hanath?" Thranduil asked, aghast at the violent emotions emanating from the distraught girl.

"She was asking me questions about Middle Earth and then asked me what the year was. I told her and she began to gasp for breath; that's when I ran to fetch you."

Lady Lindwen, who had accompanied her father and brother down to the dungeons, quietly began to cry at her fellow female's distress. She tugged at her father's robes until he turned around.

"What is it, Lind."

"May I take her out of that dungeon and put her in my room. I promise to be careful and not let her out but she is so distressed that I think being away from here would cheer up." Lindwen begged.

Thranduil stood, undecided for a moment until Legolas spoke. "Perhaps my sister is right, Father. Maybe the girl lost her memory and can remember nothing."

"Very well, I will consent to having the girl moved but you must be very careful Lindwen. A guard will be posted outside your bedroom so that the girl cannot escape if that is her plan." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, a sign he was stressed. "The council will be postponed until she has some knowledge of herself and where she is."

Lindwen smiled and raced off to her room to prepare it for its second occupant. Legolas sent Hanath for two more elves to help him with the girl. When alone, he opened the cell door and crept noiselessly over to the sobbing girl (her wailing had ended sometime ago) and shook her slightly. She ignored him completely, clutching her knees to her chest for dear life.

"We are moving elsewhere as my sister does not think it is appropriate for a young girl to be kept in a dungeon." The girl continued to sob. "What is your name?" Nothing. "Ah, Hanath. I cannot get a word of the girl but we'll have to move her anyway."

Hanath picked the girl up and followed Legolas to Lindwen's room followed by the two elves that would be guarding the Princesse's room for the duration of the girl's stay.

"Poor dear." Lindwen clucked sympathetically and motioned for them to set the girl down in a large seat. "Have no fear, brother. Evil is not in her, this I can feel. Although," she sighed, "Rhov could tell better than I. How I do miss him."

Legolas bowed and motioned the others out of the room. Just before he close the door, he saw Lindwen sit down on a foot rest and stroke the girl's hand. There was no response.


	3. Selective Deafness Is Key

**_I am having way to much fun with story. Quick little note to my Mischief fans HUGE spoiler in here so... I don't know but i'm just warning you. It's actually quite hilarious how it happened but you'll have to wait for the next Mischief chapter. As you can see this whole story is kinda attached to Mischief so I will feel obligated to have Kelly show up in that but that won't be till later :rubs hands and sniggers: Hope you all like the blond joke, i have about 9 pages of them and decided to use a couple. HAVE FUN!_**

"You poor darling, what cruel fate has taken your precious memory from you? But, I will say no more and let you rest, you poor creature." With that, Lady Lindwen bent down and kissed the cheek of the girl fast asleep on the chair. She tiptoed softly to the door and left with no sound to speak of.

When I was absolutely sure the Lady had gone, I jumped up from the chair and ran around the room trying to find the entrance to the bathroom. Where the heck did they put those extremely essential places? I finally found it leading out from what I guessed to be the sitting room; girl had a master suite all to herself.

Checking to make sure there were no footsteps in the hall, I ducked into the bathroom to clean up and try to think everything through. After my face had been washed of all dirt, the leaves brushed out of my hair, and everything put back in its place, I slipped back into the sitting room to take a gander at my surroundings. It was a deciding factor when it came to proving I was not in my world anymore. There was a huge window in the bedroom and I knew that medieval people only had tiny slits in some of their rooms. All the furniture was hand crafted (no duh) but in a willowy, light way that I'd never seen before or heard about.

Poking my head out of the door to the passage, I was instantly met by a two pairs of blue eyes (didn't they have any other colors?) that stared, daring me to walk out. Needless to say, I ducked back into the room and sat down. Ok, so, I was still a prisoner but at least I had spectacular accommodations for a captive.

Now to formulate a plan of action of some kind so I could survive in this new world called Middle-Earth. They would never believe some wild and crazy story about some girl being kicked out of her time and world by a demonic little brother, after all, who would. Possibly the best thing to do was to act like a mute, definitely sane since they could probably come to the decision that I was in shock if I did that, and acquire as much information as possible. Just as I decided on this course of action, someone knocked.

"My lady, may I come in?" So it was my lady now was it.

Putting my plan into action, I didn't reply but opened the door, looking into those very blue eyes. Stifling a groan I opened the door wider, wondering "why me?"

"I hope I have not disturbed you at all." He said. I shook my head and waited. He swallowed and continued. "My name is Legolas and I am Prince of the Realm of Mirkwood." Brother, not that again. "I was hoping you could tell something of yourself, how you came to be in our forest in such strange apparel and queer words."

Very, very glad I'd decided to be a mute, I merely shook my again and watched him carefully. Legolas sighed and rubbed the back of neck, "My sister said this would probably happen. Perhaps you will be able to speak another time."

NOPE! I shook my head vehemently and was glad when he backed away from the door and motioned me to shut it. I did so thankfully, thinking again how much I detested blond hair, on guys especially.

Recovering swiftly from shocks was something I was very good at so I no longer felt the pangs of hurt, loneliness and depression that I'd felt earlier, glad to be alive at all. _Well, Kelly, you certainly have yourself in a fine pickle and no mistake. Just remember you are a mute and will continue to be that way for a long time. Try to be as amiable as possible and do your best to find out what these wackos are called!_ Finished talking to myself, I settle back on the chair to have a little snooze.

* * *

Legolas perched on the edge of his seat listening to the healer raptly. It had been a month since the girl had arrived in Mirkwood but she still did not speak, only making sounds now and then to express her wishes, desires or to just communicate. However, she was no sweet, lovely, gentle human, oh no. She had nearly punched him in the nose the other day when he asked if she would like to walk in the garden. He had just wanted to show her around a little bit but she refused to stray from the section of the palace she was in and mainly stayed in the library or her room. 

"I believe, Your Majesty, that the girl may have ruined her voice after her striking output of emotions, thereby making her unable to speak. On the other hand, shock could very well have taken her speech away for a short amount of time. However let me add that she is no human, or at least, not the kind of human we know." There were several gasps from the audience but the Elvenking motioned to the healer to continue which he did so. "Her build is far too small for any human of Middle Earth and I am afraid she will age far faster than many man of our time. This is only a small analysis because there are several things that are puzzling me about her.

"Such as?"

"She can read Elvish, Westron, Rohan, even High Elven and that is a great feat as your Majesty well knows."

"Anything else?"

"No, my lord. Not as of yet, however, I shall be speaking with her later and maybe something else will come up."

Thranduil nodded and waved everyone out of the room but asked his two children to stay, he had something he wanted to tell them. When the room was clear he motioned the two elves closer and handed Legolas a piece of parchment. "I have just received this from Elrond. Rhov has been wounded and is very sick, but, as Elrond has told me, the lad has lost none of his humor. When Arwen came into the room, he told her he was dying and wanted her to make sure his body was burnt to ashes and spread over the Misty Mountains. The poor dear was so distraught she had to be carried from the room."

"Will he be alright?" Legolas asked anxiously, his face a mask of concern.

"Oh yes, it will just be a while till he can fully regain his strength. From what Elrond has said, it was a poisoned orc arrow but it does not seem to have hurt him anymore than make him very sick and give him a nasty wound. That dark-elf amazes me, no one could have survived a wound like that without much difficulty." Thranduil shook his head. "Now be off with you two and Lindwen, see what you can do with that girl. We must give her a name soon if she does not speak very soon."

Lady Lindwen smiled and bowed. Legolas mimicked her then dashed off for the seclusion of a small garden to read Elrond and Rhov's letter. Elladan had written in Rhov's letter that he would be arriving in Mirkwood to visit for a couple years since the change would be a welcome relief.

Suddenly, a shadow fell across the parchment and he looked up. The strange girl was standing in front of him apparently reading his letter. _Now that ridiculous, _he thought_ how in the world could someone read anything when it's upside down?_

She suddenly pointed to the name Rhov and looked up at him, a question in her eyes.

"His name is Rhovanion, he used to live here. Like a brother he was." Memories flooded his mind but the girl didn't stop there and jabbed a finger at Elladan's name, breaking his thought process.

"Elladan is the son of Elrond Half-Elven. I assume you know who he is; there are enough books in the library to tell you everything about him. Anyway, Elladan is arriving soon, wants to visit us don't you see."

She waved her hand airily, showing she already knew about that and strolled off stopping now and then to touch a flower or leaf. Legolas snorted a very unelfish sound and continued reading.

* * *

Elladan, I liked that very much. Much nicer sounding than that Legless or whatever his name is. _I'm so smart, everyone thinks I'm in shock or just plain stupid and I have found out far more than if I blabbed my mouth off for the last three weeks. _I sighed heavily, remembering the pact I'd made with myself that I would begin to talk as soon as I knew enough to sound partially sane. But now, I rather liked my anonymity. 

Feeling eyes on the back of my head, I turned around to see the blondie staring at me. Sniffing, I lifted my nose in the air a tad and marched off telling myself a blond joke to keep from running over there and choking him. I didn't know what it was that made me so tight strung when it came to Legless. _There were three blondes and one of them had a bright red convertible. The three of them decided to take it for a spin but got hungry after a while and stopped at a diner to eat something. When they came back out they realized that they'd locked the keys in the car. After searching for every possible means of recovering the keys without having to call the locksmith, one of them looked up at the sky and said, "There's a storm coming. Hurry up and put the top on or else the leather'll be ruined."_

Feeling much, much better, I flounced off into the palace, feeling very proud of myself when I didn't trip once on the long skirt of the dress. These torturers of elves had refused to let me wear my jeans and instead, gave me a bunch of dresses… gag… but after a while, I'd noticed the wonderful way I could flounce so there was one good thing about those stupid, idiotic, things.


	4. Run For Your Life!

**You are absolute darlings, not only have you reviewed such wonderful things but my writers block is temporarily under strain! ha HA! Ok, one thing i must beg you to do, 'coz I'm really worried... IS Kelly turning into a Mary-Sue? If she is, or if there is the smallest inkling, please warn me so I murder her or the offender whose making her one. Thanks a lot!**

"_Run for your life, it's Orlando Bloom!" I shrieked. All the girls within hearing distance turned and stared at me as if they couldn't believe what they'd just heard. _

_Caitlin groaned and covered her tomato-red face thrusting her head into my shoulder moaning under her breath, "You idiot, now he'll never come over here."_

_Since I hadn't shouted it at the top of my lungs, not many people heard my heartfelt scream of terror when that brown-eyed bimbo stepped onto the red carpet. I felt no regret for embarrassing Caitlin as she had forgotten to warn me that Mr. Bloom was in this particular movie._

_Unfortunately for me, the twerp had somehow heard and his head swiveled around, his eyes wide with amazement, probably not entirely sure he had heard correctly. He pinned the little group of girls gazing at me with their jaws flapping down to their knees and immediately came to the conclusion that not only had he heard right, but that he'd found the culprit._ _Finishing up the handful of pictures, posters, and other related artifacts held out for his autograph, the dope crossed the red carpet toward Caitlin and me._

_I poked Caitlin and whispered, "Your dream boat is heading this way." If I thought that would make her happy I was dead wrong._

"_He's probably heard you, stupid, and now he's coming over to ask us to leave." Caitlin moaned._

"_Nonsense. I doubt he's ever heard that he is a threat to humanity and it intrigues him. Get a grip, girl, and talk to the bimbo."_

"_Don't call him that!" She muttered, then flipped her perfect blond hair around and turned to the love of her life. _

_After doing several autographs, Mr. Bloom then turned to me, an amused grin spread across his face. "How do you do?"_

"_How do I do what?" I asked, using perfect logic. I heard Caitlin groan once more next to me. He didn't seem to notice._

"_Did I hear right or did you call me a bimbo just now?" His grin turned into what Caitlin referred to as the –drop-dead-gorgeous-beautiful-to-die-for-smile. "Or were you referring to someone else?"_

_Caitlin quit breathing while the few people who knew what was going on also waited with baited breath. I knew that this was my chance to redeem myself in Caitlin's eyes but heck, I was always what Mom called, painfully truthful. "Actually, Will Turner is a bimbo." While I said it, I motioned to Caitlin._

_Ok, so the guy must not be that dense because he seemed to take the hint that my best friend would beat me up so bad that I would need plastic surgery before the age of 18. He merely nodded and said, "Yes, I would have to agree with you on that, Mr. Turner isn't the brightest bloody bulb in the universe."_

_Suddenly, I remembered the bet I'd made with my little brother. "Mr. Turner!"_

_He turned, looking very surprised that I would call him back. After all, how many girls that have called you bimbo are willing to talk to you after you begin to leave? Probably quite a few, but that's not the point. The point is, he turned, he was surprised, and he was about to get (hopefully) shocked out of his mind._

"_I always thought you poor fellows had it rather hard when you come to these things, and I decided that these are perfect for when it gets to be a little much." Holding up a paper bag (Raley's), I smiled sweetly and held it out to him. _

_Shocked he was not, pleased is more like it. Darn it. "Thankyou, miss…?_

"_Not telling thanks. Mum always said never give your name to strangers." By this time, Caitlin should be fainting but I wasn't going to end there. "And don't bother asking for my number 'coz you won't get it."_

"_That is too bad as I was just about to ask but there's not sense in it now, is there?" _

"_Nope."_

"_I bid you good day and may the wind always be at your back." He leaned down and whisper in my ear. "I will use the bag, a welcome gift after the tons of phone numbers I've gotten."_

_Waving goodbye, the bimbo walked off leaving a very pleased me and horrified Caitlin. That night she swore to never, ever take me to another premiere. Too bad she never could._

Someone knocked on the door, jerking me from my thoughts and memories. Boy did I love those, especially that one, although the dancing on the table later that night was a lot more fun.

"Coming, coming. Keep your shirt on." I muttered as I hurried to the door. An indignant Legolas glared at me when I opened it.

"My shirt is on, thank you very much, and it will stay that way." He growled. What a brick, I mean come on.

"It's an expression, buster. I wasn't being literal." I rolled my eyes and stepped out of my room, closing the door behind me. I had decided a week ago to quit acting like I was dumb and mouthed off three nights ago when Legolas once again asked if I would like to see the main gardens. Granted I hadn't meant to, you realize, but that dumb elf was annoying.

"Sometimes I wonder…" he grumbled as Legolas followed me down the hall.

"Now why, precisely, was I called?" I asked as we rounded a corner.

"Oh yes, Elladan is arriving shortly and the Elvenking wished you to be present."

"How come?"

"You will be leaving with Elladan when the time comes for his departure. My father is becoming busier and busier and cannot have anything troubling him." Legolas replied stonily.

Now I happened to know that that wasn't what Thranduil had said. As a matter of fact, the King's words (to quote accurately) were, "Why am I _always_ the one who has to take care of renegades, idiots, mischief-makers, and the homeless, insane girls?" Not particularly flattering but funny none the less.

We were all settled in the throne room (I was squeezed between to ladies-in-waiting) when Elladan entered. Oh no…

"Run for your lives, it's Orlando Bloom!" I screamed.


	5. Interrogation by the Bimbo's Twin

**_I really, really like my character, Golan (Mischief in Middle Earth) and couldn't help but add him into this story. Just to burst any romantic bubble that might pop up, Kelly not only does not think of Golan as anything more than a brother. Sowwy._**

OOPS!

Every single person in that room (and it was large and might I add fully packed?) stared at me, most with their mouths open. Well, not everyone… King Thranduil was staring up at the ceiling and I had the most overpowering feeling that he was murmuring, "Why me?"

"And who is this… Orlando Bloom you speak of, my lady?" A soft voice asked, breaking the increasingly nasty silence. Señor Lord Elladan had suddenly spoken up and had the largest grin on his face.

"Eh… no one." I said, ducking my head to stare at the red toes of my shoes. The darned elf had the same grin.

"Nay, lady, I must know as there might be competition between him and I."

I looked up to see Legolas wildly waving his arms around to try and give Elladan a clue to keep his big mouth shut. To give credit were it's due, I had to admit that Legolas had learned his lesson very well and was now trying to save the brunette a broken nose. Long ago, most of the elves had realized I was not romantically inclined, as it were.

Unfortunately, Danny Boy didn't notice and continued, "I hope I will have the pleasure of sitting by your side at dinner tonight."

"I am afraid I have a prior engagement, besides: didn't I already tell you I do NOT give out my numbers?" He looked enough like the bimbo for me to let that little tidbit out. Too bad my few flashes of wit were lost on this most unknowing specimen of the elvish community.

Danny Boy blinked, not precisely following me. Surprisingly enough, it was the Elvenking that closed the conversation by stepping off his throne and saying, "I am sorry about this, Elladan, she is not quite right in her mind. I beg pardon if she has said anything to insult you."

Har, har. I really liked the part about being insane.

"Nay, my lord," Danny Boy said and bowed before Thranduil, "the poor child has not insulted me in the least. You must tell me how this came about, for my father wishes to know all about her as soon as possible."

Thranduil nodded and motioned Danny Boy to follow him with the rest of the royal family and high-ranking officials.

I snorted, making the two ladies-in-waiting on either side of me, jump with surprise and glide off. Child indeed! Who did that ectoplasm think he was anyway? Just then, I saw Hanath walking toward me with a large smile plastered over his kind face. Not only did I like (not like like, just like) Hanath very much but he was the only person in this crazy world who let my "eccentrics" go by without groaning, moaning, and otherwise making noises of tribulation when I was around.

"His majesty wishes you to join him and the royal family so that Lord Elladan may interview you." He said and extended his hand, eyes twinkling.

"Very well, but you must understand that I go under protest." I replied primly, taking his hand. After we had gotten into one of the many deserted hallways, I couldn't help but ask, "Is the King very angry with me?"

Hanath threw back his head and laughed. "Angry? Nay, he rather liked Elladan's finally meeting his match. Most women flock to him like bees to honey and never before, in all the history of his long life, has one little human turned him down with such ferocity."

Stifling a sigh, I parted from Hanath at the door of the Elvenking's less formal audience chamber. Even in another world there's always one of those types of super-hot guys that just can't understand what "disinterest" means.

I opened one of the doors slightly so I could peek inside. It was only the Elvenking, Legolas, Lindwen, and Danny Boy. Not bad, could be worse; believe me, I know what a real interrogation group looks like and this wasn't one of them.

"Ah, Mierien, come in child, Lord Elladan would like to ask you several questions." Thranduil said passively, his back to the door. I would seriously ask him one of these days if he had eyes in the back of his silver head.

When I was seated in my favorite chair (yes, I'd been in here enough to have a favorite chair), Danny Boy began the interrogation. Let me just add, he did not know how to interrogate. Lord Liden did it much better, had me sweating last time if I recall.

"Where did you come from?"

"Mars, that's where ALL women come from or so my brother claims."

"You have a brother?"

"Don't you?"

"Mierien, behave." Thranduil muttered into my ear as Danny Boy gazed at me, his mind apparently trying to figure out where my question came in.

He shook his head and continued, "Do you have a brother?"

"Yep. Demonic little monster but kinda cute."

"Do you have parents?"

"If I didn't, you wouldn't be asking." I then added in a stage whisper, "Just how do you think I'd be here if I didn't have parents?"

"That's not what I meant!"

"Then be a tad clearer if you don't mind." I was getting him mad, I could tell. Guys' eyes always seem to narrow when they start getting annoyed.

"Very well. _Where_ are your parents?"

"Oh, let's see… Dad's probably finished milking the cows and Mom's definitely watching Desperate Housewives. Don't know why she likes it myself but then soaps were never my thing."

"Your _father_ milks the cows?" Legolas interrupted in a shocked voice.

Good golly, just my luck these people don't understand that when you own a dairy, it's usually a man that owns it and the man supervises. Of course, Legolas could very well be asking for sexist reasons but that wasn't my problem. "Uh huh, of course he doesn't milk the 200 cows by himself."

There was an extremely long silence as they all stared at me and then Lady Lindwen interjected in that sweet, soft voice of hers. "The poor darling must be having one of her moments. No one has 200 cows, its impossible."

The men nodded, relief showing on their faces as they realized the truth in what Lindwen said. I had given up a long time go trying to explain my own world as they all thought it was my insanity coming out.

"Let's continued then, shall we?" Danny Boy asked, grinning in my direction. It was now only a sickly sweet smile that recognized from my mother's face when she was fixing a boo-boo on my knee. I should probably add I was six then.

I nodded, merely to keep everyone happy. What I really wanted to do right then, was charge from that room and find Golan (one of the cellar elves) and help him hunt a stag. If I was late, he'd threatened to leave without me.

"How is it that you can read the languages that are contained in the Elvenking's library?"

"Ah, that's easy, my brother's time machine was equipped to instantly allow the time-traveler to understand every language –and dialect- of the country that the traveler was sent to. Don't ask me how he did it since he's the scientific buff that I'm definitely not."

"Oh, I see." Elladan said, not really seeing at all.

"Anything else?"

"Yes." He twisted his hands looking uncomfortable. "His majesty has informed me that you age far faster than humans here. May I ask why that is?"

"No idea. The genetic sciences are not my forte, if you follow me."

"Genetics?"

"Meh… never mind. Are we done?" Heck, I know I sounded like a petulant child but there was a stag to hunt and I wasn't going to waste a perfectly good day sitting in the King's audience chamber and answer stupid questions.

"I… I suppose." Elladan said, seemingly taken aback by my apparent disinterest in him, the discussion, and his ingenious questions. He, he.

"Thanks!" and before anyone could say another word, I was outta there.

I raced to my room and changed into my hunting garb as swiftly as possible. Everyone thought I stayed in my room or the library, but the truth was, I knew everything there was to know about this place and the immediate forest surrounding the palace. Being a night owl had its rewards, let me tell you.

Finished, I slipped through the corridors quiet as a mouse and finally reached the small gate near the kitchen that I had used so often. Golan was there to my utter relief.

"What took you so long?" He demanded, looking grumpy.

"I had to answer some standard question from Danny Boy."

"Who?"

I rolled my eyes. "Elladan."

"Ah, I thought so. Anything to keep your ugly mug near to his beating heart." Golan grinned cheekily and ducked my fist that had flown up (I swear) of its own accord and threatened to knock all the air out of his body. "I was joking!"

"I hope so, for your sake." I glowered and Golan laughed. Golan and I had adopted each other as it were. From what Hanath had told me, Golan had lost his twin, Gilian, during the Battle of the Five Armies and had been grieving ever since. Since my own brother had condemned me to live out my life in a different universe, I had felt (sort of) that Golan and I could sympathize. Besides Hanath, Golan was the only one who didn't run screaming for one of the healers when I mentioned something like, oh… Britney Spears or something. (If the screaming elves knew who Britney Spears actually was, they would probably not just scream but faint. Believe me, I had fainted my fair share when Caitlin had insisted on watching the new Britney Spears music video on MTV).

"Hadn't we better get going?" he asked once his merriment had subsided.

"After you, my dear brother. However, if you continue to tease me about amorous things I will be filing a complaint with the Sexual Harassment Office of Social Services!"

"Huh?"

Like I said, my few flashes of wit were lost upon these innocent elves. "Never mind, kiddo. Shall we find a stag?"

We ran off into the dark green woods not a care in the world.

* * *

"My lord, why is it that you call the young girl, the annoying cat?" Elladan asked as he and Thranduil walked slowly down a deserted hallway.

"Annoying because she just is, cat, well..." Thranduil smiled suddenly, "Mierien is sly, very sly, and has a very feline grace that she does not knows inhabits her. Elladan? Do you think Rhov has any thought of marriage?" Thranduil grinned wickedly after a small silence.

"Nay, your majesty."

"Have you ever tryed your hand at match-making?"

Elladan's face went so white, it matched the marble wall. He gulped audibly as the Elvenking's grin turned evil. "Nay, your majesty, and will all due respect, I don't wish to try."

"Have no fear, Elladan." Thranduil said, patting the younger elf on the shoulder. "It was merely a question."

However, the evil grin did not leave the Elvenking's face till later that night, but Kelly (a.k.a Mierien) noticed it and knew it boded no good for her. Lindwen was quite sure she didn't want to be around when the Elvenking uncovered his plan and Legolas was already packing enough provisions to keep him and his spontaneous patrol happy for a month.


	6. A Little Brother Replaced

"You're blond therefore you are transparent which means I know what you're thoughts are."

"Oh yes? Then what am I thinking at this very moment?"

"I'll let you figure that out first."

I watched in glee as Legolas slowly mulled it over, his eyes blinking as the wheels turned creakily in his head. Oh, how I loved teasing these poor elves (especially this one) since they couldn't understand what subtle jokes were.

"Tormenting the Prince again are we." A smooth, silky voice said behind me. Not bothering to quiet my groan of despair, I turned around and looked into the chocolate brown eyes of that OB clone, Eladan. "Torture is not something we elves condone, I would request you cease your torment."

"Humph!"

"Thank you, my lady." Eladan said with a gorgeous smile twisting his lips up. Gag how I did hate it when he flirted with me.

"You're incredibly not welcome." I replied, mad that he had ruined my fun. Sticking my nose up in the air, I swept out of the garden (no I hadn't finally let Legolas take me there, we just met up) followed by that bimbo's quiet chuckle. Ever since I (and consequently the healers) realized that my brother's time machine did not allow the traveler to age no matter how long said person was gone, that stupid Eladan had taken it into his mind that I was dateable once more. Ew… the very thought makes me shiver.

"Ah, there you are Kelly." Golan had snuck up on me and was now walking by my side. (May I add, Golan is the only one who calls me by my true name? Everyone else has taken after the Elvenking's Mierien). "The king has requested that you and Eladan go to his study immediately. By the way, have you seen the Prince or Eladan?"

I jabbed my thumb over my shoulder at the gardens and Golan turned around. "Oh, I see. Tell me, has the young Rivendell elf yet asked for your hand in marriage?" He grinned wickedly.

He ducked the inevitable fist that threatened to tear his head off and bounced away holding both his hands up. "I was joking, Kelly, merely joking."

"You had better be because if there was the slightest truth behind your jokes I would decapitate Lord Eladan without remorse!"

"Really?" I swear you could take his tone for silk.

"You weren't supposed to hear that." I said primly, beginning to walk faster as Golan disappeared down a convenient staircase. Good thing because I was ready to murder him for not telling me that the Prince and lord were behind me. "However, you must agree that it would rid the world of many difficulties after I was executed for such a dastardly thing."

"That would be lovely." Legolas sighed dreamily under his breath. I turned around just in time to see an amused Eladan kick Legolas in the shins.

A finger tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around, just in time to see Hanath and Lindwen (both looking scandalized) frowning down at me, the smiling Eladan; and the hopping, cursing Prince. "The king wishes to see all three of you. Now." Hanath said in a dangerous tone.

"Golan already told me, Han." Believe me, more than once I had suddenly given in to gales of giggles when I said that nickname. Unfortunately, no one understood why. This time was no different and I doubled up with restrained guffaws (something I just couldn't do out-loud in Lindwen's presence) while everyone stared at each other in confusion. (Legolas not included as he continued rubbing his shin and shooting daggers at Eladan's unprotected back).

"What is wrong with Prince Legolas?" Hanath suddenly asked once my snickering fit and ended.

"I believe he accidentally hit a large stone on our way inside." Eladan said smoothly, winking at Lindwen, who blushed beautifully.

Ignoring the two flirts, Hanath grabbed my shoulder and began pushing me up the hall and toward my doom. "Hurry up, all of you! The Elvenking was extremely impatient when I left him."

Legolas tore past us, his limp accentuated by his racing feet. Looking around I saw why he had retreated so fast: Eladan was holding Lindwen's hand and speaking softly while she continued blushing. See what I mean! The guy's insane!

Suddenly I remembered something that Golan had told me about and shouted a name that frequently cropped up in the narrative. "Orophin!" That seemed to do the trick as Lindwen jerked her hand out of Eladan's grasp and swiftly walked toward the gardens, her face flaming.

Eladan glared at me while I, oh so smoothly and sweetly, smiled back. My good deed for the day was done, much to my pleasure. From everything I'd heard, Orophin was a Lothlorien elf that had fallen hopelessly in love with Lindwen and begged this infamous Rhovanion to keep her under his thumb. When Rhov left, I'm afraid Lindwen has gone slightly by the board without a guiding hand. I decided that after today, I would take over this mythical Rhov's work and do my utmost to make sure there was never a single alliance with Rivendell and Mirkwood. At least in this avenue anyway.

We made it to the Elvenking's study without further mishap –just a couple daggers being passed back and forth between Legolas, Eladan, and innocent old me-. Hanath, who was completely nonplussed by our childish display, opened the door and ushered us in with little or no ceremony to speak of. "They are all here, your majesty." Hanath said and then closed the door with a little bit more than his usual briskness.

Thranduil stared at the three in front of him and did his utmost best to stifle an amused smile at their different faces. Legolas was apparently in some pain and continued rubbing his shin with the heel of his leather boot, Eladan seemed particularly irritated with something and judging by Mierien's completely fake innocent expression, the little cat had something to do with his exasperation. The Elvenking tapped his fingers together and regarded the three miscreants, and was pleased to see their faces melt to a unified look of unease.

"You're probably wondering why I called you here today." Their heads nodded in unison and Thranduil continued. "Eladan, your father has sent me word that a meeting is to be held in Rivendell and it is vital that you are there when it takes place." Legolas sighed and a dreamy, content expression clouded his eyes. Thranduil had to stop and hold himself in check as a huge laugh bubbled up in his throat. It took several minutes to suppress it and then, "Legolas, as I cannot attend as other things here need my watching, you must go in my place to the meeting and Mierien will be accompanying you both since, after all, she was supposed to go to Imladris fifty years ago."

Legolas' face became one of complete dejection and he sadly shuffled out of the room by an excited Mierien and Eladan continued to uphold his uneasy expression as they all trooped out at the Elvenking's wave of dismissal. It wasn't until the door had been closed and ten minutes had passed that the Elvenking let loose a long, hard laughing fit. The following year would not allow the Elvenking to laugh at anything and he knew it, to some extent, and he enjoyed it to the fullest only stopping when tears ran down his face in rivers and his ribs ached from the effort. Only Rhov had ever been able to bring such a reaction from the elf who was famous for his solemn character.

"O, this is just wonderful!" I muttered as I followed the two elves down the hall, "Just perfect. Traveling with a pair of bonafide jerks all the way to Rivendell and then being left with both of them for who knows how long. Why me?"

"Possibly because the wicked get their just deserts." Legolas said scathingly. Darn…I'd forgotten how good elven hearing was. But wicked? "Wicked?" I spluttered. "When have I ever been anything but sweet and beautiful?"

"In all honesty, I think you're beautiful but your sweetness is another thing…" Legolas sniggered.

"Eladan!" I whined. "Do you really think name-calling should be allowed; especially when it isn't true?"

Eladan turned toward me and said softly, "Perhaps he is right, Mierien. You have been very wicked to me during my stay." His eyes had turned puppy-dog brown and let me point out right here, that if it had been anyone else, even Orlando Bloom for goodness sake, I could've have stomached his sweet expression. However, this is Eladan we're talking about and, after all, I couldn't help but think of him as anything but a big brother something he apparently hasn't figured out yet. You'd think that after 50 years… But we won't go there.

I decided the time had come to introduce Eladan back to the real world. "Actually, I'm always particularly wicked to brothers."

Legolas had caught my implied meaning right off the bat and covered his mouth to morph his sniggers into a pretty convincing cough. To both of our amusement, Eladan took it all wrong. His brow wrinkled in confusion as he motioned to the bronchiatic Legolas and said, "I can understand your torture of the Prince as he has been nothing but brotherly to you but I myself see you as…"

"Prey, a prize, possibly a great white emu (and emu just sounded right, don't ask me why)?" I asked, my hands clasped in front of me as my eyes lit up as if he were asking a silly little question. Which, of course, he wasn't.

"Prey? Nay, lady, you are no prey to be devoured and I assure, my advances have been nothing but honorable." Eladan said, perfectly flummoxed. By this time, I had joined Legolas in his state of hysterical coughing (translation: laughing fit to burst) and tears began to run down both of our faces as Eladan's face changed from one of utmost confusion, to surprise, to horror. It didn't surprise either of us that he ran off, screaming bloody murder for the healers.

Knowing what would happen if the healers got their hands on us, Legolas and I ran out of the palace to enjoy the fresh air, away from Eladan and everyone else. After a while, both of plopped down next to a little stream and dabbled our feet in the cool water. After a companionable silence, Legolas spoke, "Is what you said true, Mierien?"

"What?"

"When you told Eladan that you thought of us as brothers. Did you mean that in jest or perhaps you actually have forgiven me for past wrongs and adopted me into you inner circle?"

"Inner circle? I have no inner circle." I said bitterly, picking up a stone and throwing it savagely into the middle of the stream.

"No inner circle?" he questioned. "Then who are Lindwen, Hanath, and Golan, mere acquaintances?"

"Leggy…" I sighed, using my nickname for him when I actually pleased with him. Actually, since neither of us could stand Eladan for more than a couple days at a stretch, this period had brought us closer together and yes, I think I could call Legolas a big brother. Believe me, I don't hand out adoption papers that easily, I'm a very picky person.

"Thanks." Was all he said and we sat for several hours in complete silence, just reveling in a new-found affection that would last for a very long time. A VERY long time.


	7. A CUTE Elf?

**Yes, I'm finally doing a disclaimer... it's about time too, I think.**

**_Rhov: I can't believe you talked me into this._**

**_Halbarad: Me neither._**

**Just do it, Rhov.**

**_Rhov: Fine: This stupid idiot owns nothing except me and Kelly._**

**Don't call me a stupid idiot, dimwit!**

**_Halbarad: Here we go again..._**

"Mairzy doates and dozy doates and little lamsey divvy, a kiddley divvy too wouldn't you…"

"What is that nonsense you're crowing?" Legolas asked in a slightly strained voice.

"It's Irish." I replied stiffly, sniffing at his tone.

"Never mind," he sighed, "I'm scared to ask anyway."

"Very well, but you're missing out. Maybe I should sing something else."

"Whoopee…" Elladan muttered and I couldn't help but grin. Now and then, an elf who had more than the usual contact with me would say something that was definitely slang of a sort. I was now waiting for someone to say 'Dang!' in a fight or something.

Legolas must have noticed Elladan's little faux pas –they don't appreciate my influencing them- since he jabbed the aforesaid elf in the ribs. Elladan slapped a hand over his traitorous mouth and shot an extremely dirty look in my general direction.

Several of the accompanying wood elves snickered quietly until Legolas turned and switched on the killer glare. It was freakishly like Thranduil's and struck the giggling retinue dumb with awe and some silent amusement in Hanath's case.

Silence reigned for about ten minutes until I began to sing, very softly, "This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends…"

A general groan arose from the elven company while I thought I heard Golan quietly singing along.

After several hours of long-suffering silence from Hanath, Legolas, and Elladan (the other elves thought the whole song was hugely hilarious after the first ten minutes and were singing their own renditions), the three head-honchos finally broke down and called for silence.

Now Legolas may have a manufactured, gene-induced glare but Hanath could pull a mean one right off the bat and we shut up so fast that the horses nearly stopped.

"Do you really need to squeak?" Legolas grumbled. He did not have any appreciation for my singing… if you want to be kind and call it that.

"Number one: I just like singing but you happen to have delicate ears and secondly, I have nothing to do except ride this stupid horse." I replied hotly.

"Funny," Legolas said suddenly, his frown turning up into a grin, "that stupid horse has been called worse names but not by you."

I sighed, "Let me guess, the great and infamous Rhov was also made to ride on this bony back as well."

"Still as astute as ever." Hanath laughed from the back of the company and then silence reigned again. This time it was a happy reminiscing silence and I got bored again.

Several weeks later, we arrived in what Golan told me was the Land of Holly. "Gee, I suppose they never had a problem finding holly for their wreaths during Christmas." I joked and Golan just stared at me until I realized they didn't have Christmas in Middle-Earth. It's taken me fifty years, give or take a few, to get over the fact that I wasn't getting a lot of loot during winter.

As we traveled through Holly, Elladan began to tell me stories of these, his most sacred of stomping grounds although he didn't use quite that same phraseology. He seemed extremely amused one night as we sat around the campfire until Legolas prodded him into telling us the joke.

"It was here that Rhov was shot by an orc. You remember the incident do you not, Legolas?"

"Slightly. We never heard more about the matter than a few letters sent to us. Is it true that he and Elrohir were playing a prank on Glorfindel?"

"Aye, although why they tagged him for their little prank is beyond me considering the great elf does not take such things lightly."

"Did they survive the thrashing?" Legolas questioned.

"Rhov did because Arwen was there to do it for Glorfindel. Elrohir on the other hand had to go and apologize."

"Could you please just give us the whole story without going around in circles?" I demanded, fed up with Legolas' and Elladan's little inside joke that none of us understood. At least I thought I wasn't the only one.

Grudgingly, Elladan told us the entire story, start to finish. Apparently, this elusive Elrohir –twin brother of Elladan- and Rhov got along quite well and had done almost as much co-damage in Rivendell but surprisingly, Rhov still had the record for sole destruction of Mirkwood. Both of them knew Glorfindel quite well and had decided to play a terrible yet slightly imaginative joke on this seemingly important elf.

Rhov had played dead for the great one and he had ridden up to give what aid he could when a rogue orc, who had been trailing the terrible duo for days, had decided now was the time to get in his two cents and shot Rhov in his shoulder. Glorfindel spotted the fleeing, giggling orc and copped him off without turning a hair.

From what Elladan could get out of Elrohir, Glorfindel was in a right state: mad, annoyed, worried, sad, and overall scared to death on the way back to Rivendell.

"Why would he be scared?" I asked, interrupting Elladan.

"Because he knew that if Rhov died under his supervision, the Lady of Light would never forgive him." He answered, slightly miffed.

"Who's the Lady of Light?"

"You'll find out soon enough, now be quiet." Legolas interjected tersely. I acquiesced to his request (I love that line) and shut up.

Once I'd completely zipped the lip, Elladan continued. "Rhov, however, seems to have great strength hid inside himself and did not even get a fever until they were two days away from Rivendell and even then he didn't get too sick. Upon reaching Rivendell, they met Arwen who was visiting her father…" here he stopped and I took up the narrative for him considering I'd heard enough about Arwen to figure it out.

"Let me guess: she freaked, Glorfindel thought he was going to be dead soon, and Elrohir nearly killed himself trying to hide."

"I suppose you could put it that way…" Elladan mused and then went on to explain Elrond's subsequent healing of the dark-elf and the month it took for Rhov to recover and the tongue-lashing he received after he told Arwen to cremate him.

Of course after that epistle, I found my desire to meet this Rhovanion dude grow stronger and I began to wonder if he was in any way cute. Bear with me, ok? I hadn't seen any sort of cute –at least my idea of cute- in all my life including my stint on Earth and was just about ready to see something different. See, I suppose most girls would be drooling if they saw even Hanath who is ancient, decrepit, crude oil, a fossil, I mean the guy is over 5000 years old! Sure, he may still look really hot I suppose but still. I myself couldn't didn't find much to like about all this pasty-faced –Elladan excluded since he's a brunette- blondies except for their brilliant minds and razor sharp wit. (Believe me, you should see Thranduil go at it when he's in the mood.)

Legolas must have gotten some kind of idea what I was thinking (how I don't know) and came up to me before bedtime. "You know, Kelly. Rhov might be the right match for you."

"What in the world are you talking about?" I gasped. Hey, the dude took me by surprise!

"Well, the Elvenking loves you as a daughter…" I snorted but he continued, "and would love to see you well married sometime in the future considering there is not way you'll ever be getting back to your own world."

"I'm not getting married, Legolas! Sixteen is way too young in our world and I bet that it's babyish in this one."

"Don't forget, you're almost an elf now except for the ears and your abominable singing; you're over sixty now." Legolas said a sad little grin on his face. Then he did something that will go down in my books as one of the sweetest things a guy could ever do. He bent down and kissed my forehead before rising and melting into the darkness. Gee, maybe this whole immortality thing isn't all it's cracked up to be considering how he got all mushy on me when he even hinted at it. Poor brother of mine…

Whoohoo! Rivendell has water and sunlight and pretty trees and cute little animals and extremely weird black and brown-haired elves! THEY AIN'T BLOND! Just the most beautiful spot you could ever imagine and I get to stay here for an unprecedented amount of time! At this point, I was wriggling in excitement as we traveled over the bridge and into the courtyard of the Last Homely House.

Elladan's face had lit up like a fourth of July sparkler and rushed ahead of all of us to meet a tall, kinda cool, kinda scary guy who was standing by a huge door next to an absolutely gorgeous gal. I'm telling you, this lady could win the Miss Universe pageant no sweat.

Just to be honest, I'd never seen old Elladan lighten up apart from the occasional catfight or shouting match but the second he saw those two really distinguished-looking folks, he became an elflet.

"ADA! Arwen!" He yelled with delight before jumping off his galloping mount and hugging the two elves.

I heard Legolas chuckle behind me and I turned around. Oh no, another reminiscing bout: how I detest those. Hanath and the other four wood-elves just let their jaws hang slack. I suppose they were as surprised as I was that ol' Danny Boy could fly off the handle like that.

"Ada, this is the girl I told you about." Elladan said and almost yanked me off my horse that merely snorted and dragged me toward Elrond Half-Elven. Don't get me wrong, meeting Elrond was way cool but please, please, please get me away from Miss America. I'm usually not crazy about keeping up the old female hygiene thingy but when you gotta stand right next to Beautiful, anybody would get self-conscious.

All unknowing of my plight, Elladan shoved me right in front of these people and started chattering about my appearance and everything else. I guess I might have wandered off in my mind or something considering I _knew_ all of that stuff already because Elrond shushed his son. He'd probably noticed my eyes glazing over.

"I can find this all out in good time. Now I must greet our guests and get ready for supper." This dear, absolutely splendid man said before kissing my hand –I'm such a pushover for chivalry- and handed me over to his daughter.

"Welcome to Imladris, Mierien." Arwen said, with a sweet smile.

"Actually," I commented, "The name is Kelly."

"Forgive me, I did not know your true name." She replied and I swear Lady Arwen looked about ready to laugh out loud. "Is it true that you wreaked nearly as much havoc as Rilien Rhovanion in the Great Forest of Mirkwood?"

"Unfortunately, no. As a woman I didn't get nearly as many opportunities as he but perhaps I will here." I stated matter-of-factly.

This time she really did laugh and I decided Arwen would be a lot of fun to be around. Just as I opened my mouth to reply, a black and white streak flew by us and dived into the huddle of males all the while screaming, "Elladan! Legolas! Finally!"

"Who is that?" I asked.

"That is my other brother and twin to Elladan. His name is Elrohir and he arrived several days before you." She sighed slightly and I got the feeling that Elrohir was the wild type, considering the look and groans coming from the named individuals that he was now pounding on the back. "Shall I show you to your room?"

"Yes please." I said tearing my eyes away from the intensely amusing scenery. It was sweet of the dear heart to think of that. How I needed a bath to wash out this icky grit and dust out of my hair.

We walked down the cool, quiet halls in a companionable silence as I stared in wonder and amazement at the beautiful yet slightly plain appearance of the Last Homely House. A sweetness pervaded everything and for once, I didn't mind in the least. Most of the time, I had enjoyed Mirkwood because of its wildness and darkness but this Rivendell place was awesome as well.

"Here is your room, Kelly." Arwen said, breaking me from my comparisons. "I hope you will be comfortable and if you need help just ring that little bell and someone will come."

"Thank you very much, Arwen. It's quite peachy, this room." I said happily since I had always liked those houses that had lovely, silky material blowing in the wind. This room was literally filled with softly waving material and boy oh boy, wouldn't Caitlin be jealous.

"I'm glad you like it." Miss Gorgeous said a puzzled look on her face. Probably because of my strange choice of adjectives. "Dinner will be in a few moments. There are clothes in there and I will come and get you so you won't get lost."

"Thanks, love." She blinked in confusion so I sighed and said, "Thank you, my lady."

It had been a week since us, the Mirkwood group, had arrived and I was getting increasingly attached to my new home. Arwen was wonderful, showing me different places on the grounds and explaining the history while she gave me the grand tour.

All in all, I was enjoying myself immensely except for the fact that there seemed to be a gloom pervading the entire household. Although Arwen was very sweet and endured me more then anyone else I'd met in my Middle-Earth experience, she too seemed preoccupied and somewhat sad. When I asked she would just give me a quick smile and change the subject. See, I suppose everyone else thought I didn't know diddley about Middle-Earth or it's past beyond Mirkwood and it was extremely difficult to obtain news from these people.

I never saw Elladan or Elrohir but Legolas did turn up occasionally with the odd bit of news and that's how I found out about the arrival of an extremely sick hobbit named Frodo. I was meandering down the hallway to dinner when I saw Legolas walking up and down in front of his door chewing on the tips of his fingers and muttering.

"What ever is the matter?" He never bit his fingernails, never. I figured this had to be a real emergency for him to do that.

"Do you remember when father explained to you about Sauron and his defeat?" Legolas asked and to say I was slightly surprised by the question was one way to put it.

"Yes but…"

He glowered at me and continued pacing, "Do you remember the mystery of the Ring of Power?"

Deciding to go along with his sudden inspiration to be a history professor, I sighed and sat down on a handy bench. "Yes."

"It's been found, Kelly." Legolas said and he did something utterly surprising. He flopped onto the stone floor and stared up at the wooden ceiling, tears coursing down his cheeks. "It's been found and Sauron now knows it as well."

Fear clenched my heart in an iron vise and suddenly, I wished I was back home in my room watching movies while eating popcorn. Of course I knew that Sauron existed and his Ring and that he had wreaked havoc on Middle-Earth for thousands of years but that had been in a dusty, moldy, ancient book in the Elvenking's library. Now, the shock of it coming up again struck me dumb with terror. I didn't want anyone I knew or loved to die because some power hungry idiot had risen up to rule over Middle-Earth.

"There is a hobbit in that room right now whose name is Frodo Baggins," he gestured towards a door down the hall, "who carries this ring and he was almost destroyed by the nine."

My voice trembled as I stammered, "T… the… na…zgul…?"

"Aye, the very same and their outward appearance has been destroyed so we shall not have to worry about them for some time, but…" his voice trailed away when he saw my face.

I suppose I'd gotten slightly white as the proverbial paper because he rushed over and clutched my limp hands between his. "Don't be so afraid, Kelly. You will be safe here and I couldn't be happier then knowing you are safe and well. Please, sister, do not fear."

Oh. How. Sweet. Is. That. Never, in all my life had anyone said anything like that to me and I couldn't help but throw my arms around his neck hug him to death. Ok, so maybe I wasn't entirely ready to go home now that I knew I had this sweetest of darling brothers to help me out.

"Now," he released himself after several minutes and began stroking my cheek, "I want you to go outside and enjoy the fresh air. I will tell you if anything very important happens."

With a gentle yet firm push, big brother got me moving toward the lovely outside and when I hit the door, I was running as fast as I could toward my favorite spot: a lonely little bridge by the waterfall. Seriously, now was a time to think and reflect if there ever was one.

A Ranger named Estel arrived with three other hobbits the companions of Frodo Baggins and it was left to me to keep them fed and occupied. Their names were Sam Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck, and Peregrine Took and Sam seemed to be an extremely loyal and close friend considering he never left Frodo's side. Merry and Pippin stayed with me most of the time but their dear little hearts were so heavy with fear and grief I didn't know what to do.

When Frodo finally woke up, I was almost ready to go into that room and give the hobbit the biggest hug of his entire life. Never ever, try to keep three scared hobbits occupied by telling them stories of early Middle-Earth. Scares them out of their wits, of course, I really shouldn't have embellished but oh well.

Since I didn't have any hobbits to take care of, it was nice to just sit in my room and watch the sun as fell towards the West. How one little hobbit I knew nothing about (especially since I didn't even know hobbits existed until Legolas explained) could make me so happy and peaceful by simply staying alive was beyond me.

I closed my eyes and listened to the trees and little animals as they began to prepare for bedtime. Just as I was about to fall asleep, someone began singing the most beautiful song I'd ever heard. Opening my eyes, I looked out the window and saw something that made my heart leap for joy although I didn't know why the bloody stupid thing did it. An elf was skipping down the path that leads to the bridge and it was he who was singing that strange song.

Now you're all probably thinking, 'Oh. Great. Here we darn well go again. Haven't I read enough romance stories by accident as it is?' I could agree with you on the romancy thingy. Give me a break, those paperbacks always made me queasy and I did my best to stay away from that side of the bookstore… I think I'm getting away from the point.

Let's just say I don't know why the heck I was suddenly, inexplicably happy but I was all the same. Moreover, I did the same thing any girl who saw an elf like this would do: subconsciously this thought came into my mind "Whoa, he's cute."

Now remember, I had sent death threats in little notes and other uh, more forward means to both Legolas and Elladan when I first arrived in Middle-Earth and I hadn't changed a millimeter. Orlando Bloom for crying out loud understood what it was to deal with my, shall we say, weird un-interest in guys. Nevertheless, this dark-skinned elf -who was now dancing over the bridge-, was just so different from the norm around here that I couldn't help it so give me a break already.

"Legolas! Rhov has arrived and I dare say he will be overjoyed to see you! Hurry!" I heard someone yell out in the corridor. Whipping around, I hurried out of my bedroom and after Legolas who was almost flying down the hall. Needless to say, I lost sight of him in T-minus-zero-seconds. Fortunately, I had a pretty good idea of where he had disappeared to and continued at a more leisurely pace towards the courtyard.

When I reached it, a large group of people including Legolas, the mysterious Estel, Elladan, Elrohir, and a several men who looked like Aragorn were gathered around the brown elf I had seen earlier. I coughed but they didn't hear I suppose so I coughed louder. No response. After standing there for several moments trying to be polite, I finally gave it up and tapped Legolas on the shoulder.

"Would it hurt you, Leggy, to introduce me to your friends or shall I have to stand here all day?" I almost had to manually put my face muscles into a darlingly sweet smile. Why I decided to do that I don't know so humor me.

The strange elf turned and I found myself staring into the… uh… strangest eyes anyone would like to get their hands on. Seriously, the guy had eyelashes to DIE for and green, ho boy was they ever green. He smiled and I swear the only reasons my legs began to feel like jelly was because I had suddenly realized how tired I was.

"Ah, Mierien, the terror of Mirkwood." He said, his voice so amused I couldn't help but stiffen up.

"From all I've heard, I can't hold a candle to your exploits and believe me, I've done my best but it just hasn't worked." I said, retaining my weird smile. I caught Elladan looking at me with a confused look on his face. He probably hadn't realized I could look nice if I wanted to. I turned my attention back to Rilien Rhovanion. Geez, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to guess who I was talking with.

"Well, milady, it seems that we haven't been introduced properly." Rhovanion said with a small chuckle. I got the worst feeling that he saw me as a mere child. Dang it! I hated it when people did that!

"You seem to know everything important about me but, what the heck…" I sighed gustily and poked Legolas in the side, hoping it would wipe off that bloody smirk that he had suddenly brought onto the scene. "Well buster?"

I heard Elladan snicker while Legolas did indeed lose the stupid grin and blush. "This is Mierien…" "Ahem!" "I mean, Kelly. She has been living with us in Mirkwood for quite some time and will now be residing in Imladris…" "Yes, something he's been waiting for with ill-concealed glee." "-under Lord Elrond's supervision." Legolas spat out before turning to fix me with THE Thranduil glare.

"Shall we go in?" Elladan asked and then began shooing everyone inside. I suddenly realized that Rhov hadn't followed the fleeing males but was still standing in front of me, grinning down from his lovely giantish height. Did I mention that this dude was TALL?

"May I ask what 'buster' means?"

"It's a derogatory statement that I use with everyone except for complete strangers like yourself." I replied still keeping up the sickly smile although my face started feeling strained.

"I see… well, that's something that will have to be explained to me by Legolas." Rhov said and then held up his arm. "Would you like to escort me to dinner?"

I laughed at the outrageous thought of _me_ dragging_ him_ to dinner. Not something that was looked on with much appreciation by the vast majority of elves I'd known. Funny, right then it struck me that the Ranger and Rhov's companions were the first humans I'd met in approximately fifty years. Oh well, random thoughts.

"O, of course good sir. Lead me to it!" I chuckled and ditched the stupid smile for my usual evil grin. "Pardon me if I trip now and then, fifty years and I still haven't gotten used to these monstrosities called dresses." I couldn't help but notice that I'd definitely lost my natural tan over the years in Mirkwood and I looked positively pale compared to Rhov, I mean the guy had really dark skin.

Rhov suddenly bent down and whispered in my ear, "And forgive me if I do not understand anything you say tonight. Women are not something I've gotten used to in all my long years. Shall we?"

I giggled and let him pull me into the warm light that was streaming from the front door of the House. Finally, a kindred spirit in Middle-Earth, who woulda thunk it. Did I mention that he was actually quite cute?

**Author's Note:**_ WHHEEE! I finally got this chapter up, and to be frank, I really like it. Do not worry, I shall not make dear Kelly into a Mary-Sue. I decided _now_ would be a good time to respond to the many wonderul, splendiforous reviewers sooooo... let us begin._

**gothic-ember:** well, it's kind of an aproximation if you get my drift since there were about fifty years between the Hobbit and FOTR. Then Elladan procrastinated for twenty years so that they arrived in Rivendell right before Frodo.

**The Great White Emu: **I suppose I should explain the usage of your name. I actually didn't notice it was your name until you told me so I guess it was in my subconscious or something. It was unintentional...

**PrincessofRain:** I'm not really sure what you mean by ideas...but thanks for telling me it was funny. I really like being funny.

**faeriekittie306animelover:** Yes, Kelly thinks of both Elladan and Legolas as brothers. She just doesn't have any interest in guys at all but maybe Rhov will change that... :wiggles eyebrows:

**Kya Jaganshi: **:thinks: Yeah, she does spaz in the starting. I like that "GIVE 'EM HELL, HARRY!" - don't ask

**Casandra:** Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou for that lovely review!

**Crecy: **Yes, you do make sense. Sometimes people use crude humor way too much so it's nice to see something traditional and clean now and then.

**Princess of Ithilien:** I have updated as you requested, your highness. :bows in thanks for her sweet words:

**Canadian Coco Chick:** That's precisely what I thought.

**orliefan: **Ah HA! A fellow torturer of elves in disguise! Yes, it's quite fun to torture the great Legolamy himself...

**Raina Elanesse: **:kisses her on the cheek: thankyou my dear...

If I missed anyone, Rhov will give you a kiss.

Rhov: WHAT?


	8. Snakes and Bridges

**_Ok, I know I should be chopped up and thrown in a stew for not updating sooner but stuff just kept getting in the way. This chapter isn't quite the usual standard for this story and is more of a filler than anything else but I hope ya'll enjoy it. _**

**_ One thing I would like to mention is that my homepage ( ) has updates for my stories and that way you won't have to agonize about when the new chapters are coming out. For all my Mischief in Middle Earth fans, I haven't even started the new chapter yet but I'm going to do my best and have it done by the end of the month. ENJOY!_**

_Disclaimer:_

_**Gandalf: Why the heck couldn't anyone else be found to do this stupid thing?**_

_Because, now just do it!_

**_Gandalf: Fine, but I do it under protest._**

**_Rhov: Get on with it already!_**

**_Gandalf::sniffs: This idiotic author owns nothing (including me, thank god) except for Rhov and Mierien. :sticks out tongue at the named two and a fight ensues:_**

"Rhov, finally! I suppose you've been loly-gagging your way here with little or no sense of the seriousness of the matter." It was Gandalf and he looked miffed. I suppose he'd been waiting for all the males to stop slapping the poor fellow silly so he could get a word in edgewise but now, Rhov had girl on his arm and from Gandalf's experiences with me, not an entirely appropriate one.

"My apologies, Gandalf. My companions and I were way-lade several times on our journey, no fault of mine I assure you. Traveling has become a dangerous business these last several years." Rhov replied and I spotted the beginnings of a small smirk.

"Very well, very well, I will except your excuses for now but you really must come and see Bilbo. He's been asking for you ever since he heard you were coming." Gandalf said jerk of his head toward one of the smaller halls.

Seeing I was most certainly not wanted in this conversation, patted Rhov on the arm and said, "Alright then, I guess I'll have to wait another time to escort you to dinner, good elf." Tipping a wink to Gandalf, I smiled brightly and frog-marched to the dining hall, which was almost directly opposite the two ancients. I heard one small snort from Gandalf before I strode through the doorway into the noisy, perfectly friendly mess.

"Ah, _ha_!" someone shouted and then a pair of hands yanked me forward and shoved me into a chair. "Little Mierien from the Woodland Realm, a delight to meet you. Our mutual friend over there already told me about several of your escapades." If it weren't for the fact that Elladan would never have so unceremoniously plunked me into a chair, I would've thought it was him. However, the humongous grin and devilish eyes gave the elf next to me away as Elrohir, none other than the bosom friend of Rhovanion.

"Eh, really?" I muttered with a glare toward the sniggering Legolas.

"Oh yes," the completely oblivious Elrohir continued, "the time you shoved a snake down my brother's robes sounds most appealing. Would you be so kind as to relate this tale?"

"Yes."

"Excellent, but wait a moment while I get Aragorn." Elrohir jumped up and scooted around the table, apparently in search for the Ranger.

With a last withering glare in my adopted brother's vicinity, I jumped up and raced out of the dining hall sure that Elrohir wouldn't follow me out into the gardens. He didn't strike me as the stalking type. However, the second I came in sight of my little bridge two figures also appeared and I did a hasty about-face. Nothing in this world would compel me to become a peeping tom and besides, Arwen was too nice to be spied on.

"Found the love birds, I see."

I groaned softly, "Oh no, not you again."

Elrohir grinned and shrugged. "Don't worry, I wasn't looking for you. I figured out that Aragorn would be here so I tried to beat Arwen but as you can see," he gestured toward the little creek, "I didn't make it in time."

"Good thing," I hissed, "because she deserves some time with her darling and you and I are not going to disturb them." I grabbed his arm and started pulling him away.

Muttered protestations followed this but he came along willingly enough until we reached the Last Homely House again. I personally didn't want to go back inside so I let go of Elrohir, slumped down onto a bench near the door, and stared up at the stars trying to ignore the fellow as he plopped down next to me. I had an excuse for not acting graceful as I'm not an elf but it was too much that he collapsed in the same way.

After several minutes of silence, he spoke up, "Well, aren't you going to tell me about the snake?"

"No."

"Please? I promise you'll never have to tell it again. I can remember stories pretty well and I could tell Aragorn." He looked so like a baby with that lower lip and begging puppy eyes that I decided to cave in.

"Fine, but don't you dare even sneeze while I speaking." He nodded his agreement and leaned back. Devilish smirks should not be allowed; as a smatter of fact, neither should elves but that's beyond the point.

"It was about a year after Elladan arrived that we all went on a hunt –I don't like hunting but King Thranduil refused to let me out of his sight since I'd done something else earlier and no, I refuse to tell you that one- and it was the middle of the day so everyone halted and we all sat down to eat lunch. I was already annoyed with your brother since he had insisted on riding behind me in case I fell off my horse and then he had the gall to ask Legolas if I could use sword or was good in archery.

"Stop chuckling, it isn't kind! Anyway, there I was, sitting on my blanket during a break like a good girl when a brown, perfectly harmless snake wended its way by me with a friendly hiss. Elladan saw and freaked –yes freaked is a real word so stop sputtering- and grabbed at it. I got to it first and when he saw that, I thought he was going to have a heart attack –it's something that kills off people where I used to live-. He told me to put that venomous serpent down before it got mad enough to bite me and I said to go and boil his head in a saucepan. Elladan didn't like that very much and made another grab at the poor snake when –now I want you to know this was purely instinct- Elladan got close enough I shoved the innocent reptile down his robes."

Elrohir, who I suppose, had been imagining the scene in his head whooped awfully loud and then buried the lower half of his face in his hands to muffle the guffaws. When he had control of himself once more I continued with slightly more relish as I came to the best part. "Then Thranduil, who hadn't heard anything turned around and only saw Elladan's face turn white and then the poor elf begin to hop up and down screaming like a maniac. Well you can understand the poor Elvenking's consternation at such a self-controlled fellow losing it right there in front of the entire court so…"

"Wait… wait…" Elrohir gasped with suppressed laughter, "are you saying that the great Elladan began to scream like a girl, jump up and down like an idiot, and otherwise make a fool out of himself?"

I nodded and Elrohir closed his eyes with a smile of pure ecstasy on his face and I could tell he was drinking in the feeling of triumph and, of course, the scene that had unfolded before his eyes.

None other than the hero of said story interrupted us as he came bursting out of the front door with a wild look on his face. He spotted us grinning evily at seemingly nothing and advanced with nostrils flaring. "What are you doing out here Elrohir? And Mierien, the hobbit, Peregrin Took, has been looking for you everywhere."

"Yes, sweet, darling brother." Elrohir simpered. "We were just about to go in: I have an excellent story to tell the others and it cannot wait." With that, he hopped up from his bench, grabbed his brothers elbow, whipped him around, and dragged him inside again. Yawning, I decided I would go and see what Pippin wanted.

He and Merry were talking together in a corner when I found them and jumped slightly when I said their names. With furtive glances to the right and left, Pippin motioned for me to lean closer.

"Do you suppose us two should attend the meeting tomorrow?" he whispered and I couldn't help but cough out a laugh.

"Why ask me? Not only do I have zippo influence over anyone and also, I'm not important enough to be even told there was a meeting tomorrow."

Merry answered while Pippin blinked as he realized that this was extremely obvious. "Well, as one of the few people we know here, we thought you would know what Lord Elrond would like or if it would be appropriate."

"Number one: I have not spoken to Elrond since the time I arrived here. Second: If you weren't invited I don't see you think you should go. After all, Gandalf would be the only person to stick up for you." I grinned at their crestfallen faces and then Pippin looked up with a mutinous scowl. "Sam's going and he certainly didn't get invited."

"Don't you think Sam has the right as Frodo's servant to be there? From what you tell me, Gandalf and Elrond would support his claims since he's so attached to Frodo and let him go without reprimand. You, however…"

"Alright then," Pippin muttered, "but if something happens and we get left to be packed home, I shan't forgive you." Merry nodded his silent affirmation and they both strode off, no doubt to find Sam and tell him what I said.

Chuckling to myself, I went off to my room to rest since I was suddenly tired for no reason whatsoever. Perhaps I should take a leaf out of Sam's book and hide somewhere to hear the meeting. From the tidbits I'd gotten from different people, Frodo would be showing them the Ring of Power which he had aquired from somewhere, Gandalf would be relating some quest he'd spent 20-some-odd years doing, and several other things. Other things of course would be coming from our neck of the woods since Gollum had escaped the elves –I'd found out little about this affair until Legolas told me on our way to Rivendell. Amazing how much one misses- and the dwarves had been having problems over at the Lonely Mountain.

Thinking it over, I decided the best course would be to corral Legolas or even Sam if I had to and hear the story from a reliable source. From the beginning you understand.

**AN: Thankyou so very much for all your lovely reviews and be assured I will try to do better on my updating. I'm in the midst of writing a fantasy trilogy and a western so it's been difficult to update my fanfictions. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. -Dark-Sylph**


	9. Did I just say the Lword?

**Yes, I have finely whipped up another chapter. I'm sorry if this one doesn't have a little action but I just so dearly wanted to torture Kelly a little bit that it went quite beyond my self-control. Heh, heh, I sure had fun writing this. Next chapter there will be a bit more action, I swear, and maybe even, a kiss? But I'm not entirely sure I can bring myself to that level of mushiness so don't get your hopes up. I'm hoping to get one more chapter done before college revvs up again so keep your fingers crossed on that one. Love ya'll and Merry Christmas. This is my Holiday present for you!**

**--Dark-Elf (Dark-Sylph) --same thing**

**Disclaimer**

**Legolas: Oh great, now I'm the one doing this? What the heck happened to Gandalf?**

_He ran away and I haven't been able to catch him yet so you're the next in line for humiliation._

**Legolas:**** You know, I think I get plenty of humiliation on this fanfiction place as it is. A little pity once in a while from you would be nice.**

**Rhov: Oh shut up, Leggs, and hurry up. I'm sure everyone wants to get to the story and you're blocking the road. **

_You know, Rhov, for someone who isn't cooperating on his own story, you really shouldn't be telling Legolas he's blocking the road._

**Rhov:**** Ha, ha. You know, I think Leggs is a good name for the nancing pretty boy. He does wear tights enough as it is to have a gazillion little eggs scattered around his room.**

_Heh, sorry folks but it looks like I'll have to do this disclaimer myself. An attempted homicide is taking place as we speak and Rhov just might get the wrong end of that knife. Anyway, I do not own one single thing except for Rhov and Kelly. There are days, by the way, when I wouldn't mind heaving the dark-elf onto someone else but that just sounds so brutal I won't do it._  
****

  
It's not fair. Not fair at all. Did I suddenly just not have ears anymore or has no one bothered to tell me what went on at the Council. Is it just me, or does everyone _enjoy_ keeping me in the dark. Oh, that darn Legolas, who promised me that he would tell all, has disappeared and the hobbits apparently have taken a sudden dislike in being in my presence. Of course, they have reason considering I scared them all out of their wits with those stories while Frodo was sick but don't blame me for my interest in sad and depressing stories. If I wrote stories, all the characters would be dead just because I like inventing tragic deaths. But that is not the point, the point is… oh bother, it does no good griping.

Yesterday, the Council of Elrond met in the morning and didn't disperse until mid-afternoon. I did find out that Frodo is going to Mordor after all to destroy the Ring but other than that, I have no idea why anyone would sit for eight hours just deciding where to send Frodo, I mean come on. However, considering I had to pester Eladan for news, it is no wonder I have almost nothing to show for my female curiosity. The poor elf has not forgiven me for telling that story about the snake to Elrohir and has decided to punish me for it, meaning, he is withholding information I dearly want. Stupid, prancing, nancing, pretty-boy elf.

What about the tanned, black-haired, dreamy-eyed elf, you ask. Well, I have not seen him since two days ago when I made a fool of myself in front of the stupid git. Wonder what he thinks of me? Probably has decided I'm an idiot and really should try kicking the bucket like the rest of my race before all the elves go barking mad. Since the entire population of Rivendell, visitors, guests and all have decided that Kelly should be absolutely ignorant of the weighty decisions made here yesterday, I just might amuse them and have a heart attack right now or perhaps, I will just jump off a cliff and save them the trouble of burying my body.

Sitting on the edge of a bench in a hallway deserted except for myself, I continued fuming elbows on knees, head in hands, and a deep frown on my face. Jumping off a cliff seemed preferable to just sitting in angry and annoyed silence. Occasionaly, an elf or two would pass me by but averted their gaze in what could only be self-preservation. Sheesh, did I look that dangerous? Hmmm… this could be good actually, I do remember several incidents where my little brother had been intimidated into silence once I got mad at one of his silly pranks and the one time I was in a real rage, my face went scarlet, then pure white, and flashed between the two until I calmed down.

Suddenly, a hand touched my shoulder and I jumped. Whipping my head up in surprise, I saw a brown, grinning face staring down at me from a gargantuan height of about six foot four. For some people that may not be so tall but for me, that's giantish since I'm only five foot five. I suppose you can all guess who frightened the socks off of me was Rhov of the rogues of Mirkwood. I swear, the only reason my heart was pounding so fast was because of the scare, I don't do scare well.

"Pray, what is a fair maid such as yourself doing inside on such a glorious autumn day as this?" The green-eyed wonder asked in that soft brogue. He's the only one, by the way, in Middle-Earth that sounds sort of Scottish. I say sort of because it's really not the same.

"Pouting", I said, "and thinking of accomadating the world by jumping off a cliff." Ok, so, maybe I sounded a bit whiny but don't swear by it.

Rhov blinked several times and I think his cheeks bulged slightly. I had the very distinct feeling that he was willing himself to not laugh out-loud. My theory was confirmed when he suddenly turned away from me and made a kind of grunting cough that did not sound remotely like a cough but I chose to ignore the slight giggle that was hidden in that grunt. The guy has self-control though, I'll give him that. It only took him a couple seconds to regain control of his baser instincts (all of which, I'm sure, were clamoring for him to laugh in my face) and turn back towards me.

"I am very sorry, my lady. This morning I began coughing slightly and it has been plaguing me ever since."

I grinned. "It must have been a very amusing morning, my lord, if you have been plagued with such coughing as to nearly choke yourself."

The dark-elf bowed in that graceful way of his that has me fuming with jealousy. If I ever tried that, I would fall flat on my face and embarrass myself to no end. "You have seen through my faking, my lady. Yes, it has been an amusing morning for the very reason that this house is so depressed, the occupants so depressed, and the news all so mournful, that I cannot help but smile. I am afraid that it is impossible to wipe the smile off my face until I see something cheery."

"Well, well, that is an oxymoron." I replied cheerfully. Why in the world couldn't I feel mad in this darn elf's presence? "So, since I am feeling quite cheerful, you may wipe that grin right off your smug face and tell me what exactly is going on. You see," I batted my eyelashes, "my depressions is the lack of knowledge of why everyone else is depressed. Not one single, solitary person has bothered to enlighten me." Whoa… did I just say enlighten? I have been hanging around these elves and men beyond men way too long.

"You don't say?" said Rhov and he plunked himself down next to me on the smooth stone bench and leaned back against the white wall. I must admit, those Rivendell robes did not complement him in any way shape or form. The only thing that redeemed him was… eh, I digress, anyway…

"The thing is, nothing was decided at the Council beyond the fact that Frodo, Sam, and Gandalf are all going to Mordor to destroy the Ring, now, here's the problem, six others need to be chosen to represent Middle-Earth. I'm guessing it'll be Gimli son of Gloin, Legolas, Strider…"

"Wait," I interrupted, "who is Strider?"

"Aragorn, or Elessar if that is how you know him in Mirkwood. The folks in Bree (that's close to the Shire) call him Strider and rather like that better than his other titles. He has many, you realize, and all of them sound so very grand and completely the opposite of what he looks like in the Wild." Rhov did not seem bothered that I had interrupted him like so many others but merely smiled.

"I'm sorry." I muttered.

"Oh no, don't be. I wouldn't know half the things that I do if I hadn't interrupted on occasion. It is bad manners I suppose but it's not exactly the law." Said Rhov matter-of-factly.

I shrugged. "Where I come from, it is the law."

"What, bad manners?"

I slugged him in the shoulder and, even though he winced for my benefit, it couldn't have hurt. The man, or elf I should say, was solid muscle. Now don't skew the picture and think of Rhov as some hulking weight lifter dude. On the contrary, you could almost call him skinny but for the way he moved; utter and complete control of his limbs proclaimed a sinewy and strong person. HEY! Don't you DARE even think to insinuate. The only reason I knew this was because I am a very observant person and Legolas had told me enough stories to back up my theory!

Rhov rubbed his shoulder in a babyish way and I swear I think he even was contemplating sticking out his lower lip to heighten the picture of injured innocence but thought better of it. "For a daughter of men, you have a hefty punch." I snorted and he grinned. Dimples, he has dimples.

"Now, should I continue or will have you not finished punishing me?" Rhov asked with a wry grin.

I waved my hand carelessly in the air. "I am finished for now, my lord. Please, continue."

"Alright." To my everlasting astonishment, the long, lean elf swept his legs up under his flowing robs and commenced to sit Indian-style on the bench. Perhaps my jaw had dropped ever so slightly because Rhov gave me an odd look but he didn't say anything about it. "Where was I? Oh yes, Gimli, Strider, Legolas, and Boromir as well I have no doubt as the company's route will be parelell to the road to the White City. Elrond now needs two others and he is having a very hard time figuring out who the two should be. The two little hobbits are quite out of the question for Elrond since he dearly wants messengers sent to the Shire but I'm afraid that neither Merry or Pippin will be left out without a fight."

"Will Elrond chose you?" No, there was no quaver in my voice, I swear. It was merely a curious question.

"Oh no," Rhov looked down at me and those green eyes smiled so nicely. "I do believe that Elrond thinks I am a tad too unpredictable. He's probably right, I don't think it would be a good idea for me to go anyway, considering Mordor is no place for a dark-elf."

"Why not?" Now the eyes had stopped smiling and were looking slightly searching. Suddenly, I realized that Rhov was just about as lonely as I was. He had no one he could really trust with his darkest secrets and no one that would understand them even if he did try to talk of them.

Rhov's voice had abruptly switched to a whisper and he leaned close so I could hear. "What exactly do you know about me? I am not all fun and frivolity you know; no, that is just how my kind have faced immortality." At my blank look he began looking desperate. "What I'm asking is: have you heard strange stories about me that are a bit dark?"

Ah yes, now I knew what he was talking about. I remember Legolas telling me something about a dream he had had and a message from Aragorn explaining something but every time I had asked, Legolas changed the subject. The little I knew, was that Rhov was a bit susceptible to power of evil, far more than any of his cousins. Not much was written about dark-elves and the only books I could find on the subject were written in languages that had long been forgotten.

"I have heard some rumors…" I mumbled. For the record, do not ever, ever sit next to Rhov when he turns moody on you. His eyes are so sad and his face so melancholy that you want to hold his hand, stroke his hair, kiss his… AGH! What did I just SAY? Never mind, slight brain freeze there, bear it no mind.

I was just about ready to PAT HIS HAND (don't even think about mushiness, it's far too grossly romantic for my tastes) when Rhov suddenly stood, grabbed my hand, and hauled me down the hall and toward a door leading outside. I do believe he had suspected something of my motives (why do elves have to be so observant? Why?) and decided that the atmosphere was a little intense so a little exercise would do us both some good. I swear, males are all the same. When in doubt in a situation that is slightly charged, running is the option. Ok, so maybe that's just the good boys but heck, I would much rather have a good boy than an evil one considering all the evil ones are actually and truly evily wicked.

"Where are we going?" I managed to gasp out as I was dragged down steps and onto a grassy sward.

"To a picnic. I just remembered that was why I was supposed to find you. Arwen has been missing you the last couple days and apparently, you have gotten very good at avoiding people. It is a habit that I must learn one of these days."

Humph. There goes an entire page an a half out the window. My theory shot to pieces and the sudden wish that I was back home in Mirkwood, surrounded by my books and knowing Rhov only as a character in a story. I've got to hand it to the Lady of Shalot, she sure takes this unrequited love thing a heck of a lot better than me. Wait… did I just say the L-word? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


	10. Emotions Are A Girl's Best Friend

**So maybe I really enjoy this section of the story because I wrote this whole thing up in one night. It probably isn't as funny as I would wish but it keeps all the girls who like mushiness in their stories on the edge of their seats. Have fun and happy new year!**

**--DS (DE)**

In Rivendell, there aren't huge meadows or big, flat lawns so the elves make do with little dells where little groups meet for picnics, quiet discussions, and the really private ones for married folk that most people avoid who have any decency and that's the entire population. There are distinct differences between the men and males of Middle-Earth and my good old Planet Earth. They are the sweetest things, not taking advantage of a poor girl all alone, almost bizarrely shy, and pretty darn good at keeping a girl entertained without any sort of ungentlemanly behavior. Most girls would think it very boring but it's not! Actually, it makes one very, very comfortable and almost entirely naïve except for the fact that we are still women and somehow, these men above all men and elves beyond imagination still get married. Considering this thought and many others, I was whisked along pathways, bridges, stairs with my hand held securely in Rhov's hand as he darted along toward his destination. Ok, so I was really enjoying the feeling of being in the presence of the only person who had ever made me realize that I was a woman and no wild, crazy, insane little girl but that's no reason for you to snort and say, "Great, a romance is all I need right now. Couldn't you just keep all the mushiness out of it?"

For your sakes, I will cut some of my thoughts out of my head and skip to the part when, breathless, I was pulled to a stop in a pretty little glen where Arwen, Elrohir, Elladan, and several other elves I didn't know the names to were sitting or standing on bright green, knee length grass that was swaying in the small breeze.

"Ah ha!" Elrohir cried and bounded forward from his seat on a stump. Grinning like an idiot, he grabbed Rhov's hand and mine and pulled us forward until we were right in front of Arwen. "Now, sit and I will dole out your rations from this tiny little basket that sister has brought."

Rhov sat down on next to Arwen then laid his head on her lap in the most familiar way imaginable. With a smile, Arwen motioned for me to sit next to her then began stroking Rhov's blue-black hair. No, I am _not_ jealous, not in the least. The fact that I was imagining clouting Arwen over the head with a two-by-four was purely because she had not spoken to me in a long time.

With a lip beginning wobble dangerously forward in a look of utmost poutiness, I plopped down thinking disgustedly that every elf present had to be getting a kick out of my clumsiness.

"Come, lady, I would not have you sit on the grass alone and soil your gown when there are blankets aplenty." It was a human man. Egad, I had forgotten how nice it was to see someone accursed with humanity. From his dress, he appeared to be one of the men who had arrived four nights ago with Rhov. In a rugged, John Wayne-way, he was handsome.

With one glance at a perfectly relaxed Rhov, I smiled up at the smiling face and nodded. "If you will show me where they are, I will be more than happy to find one."

"No need, my lady. I have already chosen one for you; I hope it pleases you." He held up a blue rug that was so beautifully made, the thought of sitting on it was ghastly.

"Oh dear. Are you sure that's for me?" I said, smiling a little just to make sure he did not think I was rejecting his gift.

Next to me, Arwen laughed and ceased Rhov's head. Oddly enough, he seemed pretty darn tense considering what I wouldn't give to have Arwen soothe my forehead. "It is for such a purpose I brought these rugs, Kelly." (Sorry, I have to tell you just how funny it is to hear sweet Arwen spit out that name which sounds so horrendous coming from any of Middle-Earth's population, human, hobbit, elf. Orcs, now, they could probably pull it off.) "Please, receive it. Halbarad is right; such a lovely dress and I do not wish you to have a cold from the damp that is still on the grass."

I smiled graciously and stood up to take the rug and place it on the grass but Halbarad pulled me forward flipped the rug down on the grass and gestured toward it. See what I mean about the darling little (actually they are quite tall but just let me say it) males around here?

"Why thank you, Halbarad, that was quite chivalrous of you." I began to wonder if there was any way I could shift that funny twinge from Rhov to Halbarad as I sat back down and the good man plopped down beside me. You have no idea how wonderful it was to see someone else beside me drop so ungainly onto the ground. It does wonder for the mind.

"It was no trouble, lady. Tell me, why did your father name you Kelly? Such a strange name I have never heard in my life." Halbarad said with such perfect grace that I could not resist a smile.

Before I answered, I took one little peek at Rhov and Elladan who were both in my line of vision. Rhov was still lying down but his fingers were digging into the ground as if searching for worms and Elladan was not hiding his animosity towards me. No doubt he was wondering why I could take Halbarad's attentions so quickly to heart while I nearly gagged if Elladan came anywhere near kissing my hand.

"Actually, they thought I was a boy until I was born and they hadn't chosen any girl names so dad picked up a magazine lying on the hospital rack, pulled it open, and called out the first girl name he found. Mom was in no shape to complain about any sort of other name and Kelly was the first name Dad came to. After all, just how would you be able to pick a name when the nurse was shoving a birth certificate under your nose and demanding a name before they stuck me into a nursery bed?

"I don't have a middle name since Dad and Mom were at a real loss to know what would go with Kelly and Lacklan so they just gave up. Personally, I chose my own middle name and wrote it on everything I could get my hands on, including the wall in the kitchen and that Sharpie ink doesn't come off in a hurry." Pleased to see every single person looking slightly dazed as if they were trying to translate from Chinese to Basque to English, I pulled up four blades of that wonderfully long grass and began weaving them just the way Mom had taught me when we were on a camping trip in the Yellowstone.

The only person who was not looking remotely put out was Elrohir who had shoved Arwen –just how exactly can anyone but a brother shove such a beautiful, graceful, loving creature? - and sat down next to me. He pulled up four shoots of emerald grass and began watching me bend and pull the grass together.

"What middle name did you give yourself?" Halbarad asked. He had been the only one besides Elrohir not dazed. Perhaps seeing all the elves look so ignorant had amused him enough to not bother trying to figure out everything I said.

"Oh," I pulled the fourth shoot tight, " first I started with Emma because she's a famous movie star but I saw a really pretty name in a Baby Name book. It sounds Arabian but I wasn't too sure, anyway, it doesn't go with Lacklan or Kelly in any way but I liked it. Aaliyah." Two more blades of grass were guillotined for the sake of my little project.

"What does it mean?" Elrohir asked as he began weaving his own little rug with a small, strange grin on his face.

I blushed slightly, "Ascender. But I didn't know that was the meaning until I looked it up several years later."

Rhov spoke for the first time and the elvish translation of my name sounded so pretty. "Adlanniel would be our name for you. Perhaps Halbarad likes your version better but I think you will be Adlanniel to me from now on. It sounds far more distinguished than Mierien."

I peered over at him from behind my grass weave and saw he had finally relaxed. Arwen caught my eyes and the sweet smile that was all her own made me glow from head to toe and I turned back to my two male companions who –why I could not tell you for the life of me- were now both weaving busily. Halbarad was having trouble because he was a little too aggressive and kept breaking the shoots. I set my grass pad down and began helping him.

"Tell me," Elrohir suddenly burst into the comfortable silence, "what is a magazine? I have been thinking of that ever since you mentioned it and now I am quite beyond my self-control and have to ask. It sounds so strange."

Looking up from Halbarad's fingers as they were now weaving beautifully, I saw that every single elf was watching me intently. Even the reposing Rhov had flipped over on his stomach and was staring at me with a fiery look that I could not quite understand.

"Ah, well, that is something like a book except that it is quite thin and the pages are stapled in the middle and the pages folded over them. Usually the pages are very slick and slip on the fingers but the pictures are all colored. Unfortunately, I only get to read them at the local libraries because the subscription prices were unbelievable. National Geographic was the very worst because they used the prettiest smelling paper and it was so very expensive to print the photographs on the pages that I'm sure it cost a pretty penny." I paused to see what my audience was doing and saw that that glazed look had come back except for Elrohir and Halbarad who were both contentedly chuckling at their companion's distant expressions.

"Well," Elladan remarked dryly in the silence, "that certainly answered little brother's question."

"Actually, I can picture it in my head, staples and all." Elrohir said cheerfully as he started on his twelfth extension.

I began shrieking with laughter and every eye turned to me except for Rhov who for some reasons was taking a special interest in Halbarad for some reason. Tell me, if a handsome, tall, stately elf had come up to you and said, "staples", you would have died of laughing and I had just stepped beyond the thin line that separates self-control from hysteria all because an elf had said staples. It took me several seconds to go from shrieking to horsy laughing then even more time to get to quiet chuckles. When I had finished, the elves I did not know had slipped away and Arwen was pulling her fingers from her ears slowly followed by a more cautious Elladan. Of all people to not cover their ears, Halbarad and Elrohir had not. Considering they were sitting right next to me, you would think they would be deafened but no, they were both laughing so hard that Elrohir was smacking the grass with a fist and Halbarad was on his back almost breathless.

It was then, while I was looking around that I spotted the end of Rhov's cloak as it swirled down the path toward the Last Homely House. I would have gotten up at the moment if it had not been that Elladan had followed my gaze toward the retreating Rhov and was now looking slightly curious. I met his searching gaze and turned back to see what could be done for the collapsed duo. Arwen was smacking Elrohir back into sanity and Halbarad was wiping his eyes with the corner of my rug that was becoming rapidly soaked with the tears of merriment.

After Halbarad and Elrohir had calmed down, I helped Arwen pack up the little food that had not been eaten by the ravenous Elrohir. I was just wrapping a cloth over the small loaf of bread when Arwen spoke.

"Adlanniel… you do not mind if I call you that?"

I shook my head but was almost afraid of what she was going to say and when she spoke again, my fears were confirmed.

"Adlanniel, you do not mind my asking if you are feeling an attraction to Rhovanion. Because," she held up a hand to my opening mouth, "please, let me finish, because if you do feel for him, I believe that he has feelings for you as well."

I had just stuffed a hunk of that wonderful bread in my mouth and was caught with the problem of either choking it down, spitting it into the grass, or merely saying nothing. I chose the last because choking never agreed with my esophagus nor was it anywhere near polite to spit one's drooly bread hunk onto the grass. I merely allowed my eyes to bloat up at the now smiling Arwen.

"Do not seem surprised, little one. Since the night you met, he has only spoken of you in front of me until I was quite jealous. For all his young life, I have been the only woman in his life besides Galadriel and to see him so interested in someone else is quite strange."

I had finally managed to gulp the bread down and gasped, "Well, yes, but he doesn't like you in the same way as me." Right after that, I slapped my hand over my mouth in astonishment. That's were wishful thinking gets you.

Arwen smile had now turned into one of pleasure at finding out my true feelings on the matter. Who would have known that the Undomiel was so sneaky? "Arwen, I am shocked at your behavior! How dare you wheedle me into a corner!" Actually, I wasn't that miffed.

"Ah, my little child, I did not wheedle you, I just wanted to know for sure so that I can tell Rhov with all honesty…"

"WHAT?" I roared and Elrohir, Elladan, and Halbarad who, thank heavens, had heard nothing of our conversation turned from their march up the pathway with big eyes. Arwen had waited until they were gone, laden with the blankets and rugs before starting the conversation and were quite a ways up the trail.

"Come now," Arwen said in a mock-tired voice, "you really do not expect me to keep such joyous news to myself. Besides, it was he who asked me."

"HE WHAT?" My, my, I was turning into a lioness today voice-wise.

"Not so loud, Adlenniel." Arwen grimaced.

Softening to a bear's roar I said, "_WHY?_"

"Because he was becoming quite jealous of Halbarad and Elrohir. The only reason he left when you started, eh, laughing was that he could not stand the sight of such a lovely creature looking so wonderfully content with her world. I do believe he is quite deaf considering he thought your laugh the most beautiful thing he had ever heard."

I had calmed down finally and was able to grin wryly at the stately Arwen. "Do not be so kind, my lovely lady of the night. Perhaps you heard him wrong, often a male uses sarcasm in such occasions; you did have your ears plugged."

"You have made a good point but I am telling him nonetheless." Putting the last apple in the basket, Arwen picked it up and waltzed toward the pathway.

To put it mildly, I was utterly and completely flabbergasted with this horrific situation. This, in all honesty, was not good. My parents took four years to decide they liked each other enough to get married and my grandparents had taken all twelve years of school to figure it out. Now these elves were expecting me to like someone after only knowing him three days. Actually, it all sounded so very romantic, I was beginning to regret my foolish heart and light a shuck for Mirkwood.

Just then, a rustle in the trees caused me to jump twenty feet into the air and whirl around. Legolas jumped out of the branch overhanging me and sent me crashing to the ground with a squeak of indignation. Laughing uproariously, Legolas put his hand down to help me up and with a grunt, I grabbed it and yanked hard. Surprised, the usually perfectly graceful elf thudded into the ground next to me.

Suddenly, I was transported back to Mirkwood, that dusky forest of fresh pine where many a time, Legolas and I had romped in such a childish way as to make a five-year-old blush for our babyish fun. Now lying next to Legolas in as he chuckled himself out, I watched the leaves brush against one another in the familiar way of old and dear friends, their moving figures letting the afternoon sun sparkle and tease my face.

Legolas sat up and yanked off his leather boots, throwing them against the tree trunk. Then he turned to me and waved his hand in front of my face. My locked gaze unlatched and I focused on his slightly bemused expression.

"Now, now, pretty one, no winsome, sad faces on what could be the last beautiful day of autumn. The leaves are beginning to turn, the grass will wither very soon, and then we will have winter upon us. No need to seem so dismal, you will have plenty of time for that later."

"Oh yes?" I said and sat up to face the grinning wood-elf. "Well, if you heard any part of that conversation with Arwen, I have every reason to seem dismal as you will tease me from here to eternity."

Legolas leaned on one elbow and leaned his head on my shoulder. "No, I won't tease you…"

I was far too relaxed to jump up and kick the living daylights out of that smug little face so I merely glared at him.

He leaned closer and whispered in my ear, "Tease you I shall not but once Arwen tells Rhov, no doubt he will let it slip to someone and I will have license to tease our poor dark-elf. I have no desire to be murdered before I depart on the quest."

I could feel the skin around my eyes tighten and suddenly, there was nothing more I wanted to do then tie up Legolas and not allow him anywhere. The beautiful day was suddenly full of apprehension on my part. "What do you mean, the quest?"

"Why," he finally plopped down, plucked a bit of grass and began systematically ripping it to shreds, "only that Elrond told me this morning that I will be going on the quest with Frodo. Actually, it will be a nice change from the monotony of Mirkwood. Think of it, no longer wearing fussy long robes but putting on my hunting boots, stringing my bow, and walking out of a door to start a journey to the unknown." Legolas' face had suddenly turned so dreamy, I could not help but feel this would be the best thing in the world for him. But…

"Will it be very dangerous?" I said with a true and purely needful quiver as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.

Legolas sat back up and saw me trying vainly to brush my tears away. I was torn between jealousy and fear and both emotions are not good for an already confused and already emotionally charged female. With those hands that had so many times comforted me with the caresses of an older brother, Legolas brushed the tears away with his hand. "Do not cry, little aranel, it will be an honor and privilege to help Frodo in his endeavor. Fear not but be strong for all of us who are going. Who knows but that you have some small part to play in this, the most needful of times."

With the same sweetness that one rarely sees in annoying old Legolas, the little darling bent forward and kissed nose as he had done since he adopted me into his heart as his little sister. Drawing me close, Legolas pulled me into a hug and began rocking me in the familiar way of someone who has done it often. Now, now, do not think I am a crybaby but I would wake up sometimes at night, so homesick for mom, dad, and even that demon of a little brother, that I would weep with the best of them: all those brokenhearted opera singers for instance. Legolas would hear me or his sixth sense would kick in and he would trip silently down the halls to my cozy little room and hold me like a little baby until Lindwen came to administer a soothing drink.

The tiniest of rustles made me look up from Legolas' shoulder and I saw Rhov standing at the base of the tree, watching both of us with such a smile as I have never seen. It held the most peculiar expression of understanding and compassion with a tinge of jealousy. I smiled weakly back and, before I knew it, he had strode forward, bent in front of me and wiped my tearstained cheek with the edge of his robe.

I could not see Legolas' face but the two must have come to an agreement because Rhov lifted me into his arms and Legolas stood up and without a word, the two began walking up the path that so many feet had trodden on already speaking in two different dialects of Elvish that seemed to blend like harmonious music.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up in my room with a singing Arwen next to me. She saw me awake and leaned forward to brush a stray hair that had fallen on my face. "Little sweetheart, you are like Rhov. When you are sad, I cannot feel anything but sadness. You have such love in your heart for all here, even for serious, brooding Elladan that it must be quite hard for you to hear a loved one is leaving, perhaps forever. But come, you do not want Legolas' last days to be memories of you crying because he is embarking on an adventure. When they leave, you and I will go far out into the woods and howl our grief to the wind until the wolves are silent for our noise."

I blushed as I remembered that Arwen's love was leaving as well. Legolas was just a brother but to see a darling leave on such a dangerous quest was beyond my strength. "I am sorry, Arwen. I had forgotten…"

She held up a hand and smiled. "It is night so there is no reason to get up but I expect you at breakfast with a smile on your face and that light in your eye we all love so well."

Arwen stood up and blew out the one candle. Just as she was about to open the door, something struck me. "Arwen, you haven't told Rhov yet, have you?"

"Of course not! Do you really believe that I could tell the most precious of secrets to such a one as Rhov?" And with that enigmatic question, Arwen shut the door silently and left me grinning up at the ceiling with the age-old feeling of resignation coupled with the peaceful contentment of half-sleep. Within five minutes, I fell asleep with the sound of a tenor singing an ancient, dark language somewhere out in the starry nigh.


	11. Classical Music and Archery

**Yeah, I know, I took wwaaayyy too long updating and I didn't even give you 20 pages. Naughty me :) Ok, now that my life has gotten into a regular routine after all the after-school stuff going on, I think I'll be able to udate at least four more chapters this summer. But don't get too excited, I could do just two more, who knows. **

_**And now I really am going to introduce my next announcer, the ever estimable Boromir!**_

_Boromir: You have got to be joking!_

_**No. I'm not. Now hurry up before I let that crazy drunken woodelf get at you for writing all those gross stories about him!**_

_Boromir: What stories? What are you talking about? Legolas, go away, I don't know what she's talking about! DOWN BOY! This-authoress-doesn't-own-anything-except-Rhov-and-Kelly!_

_**Thankyou Boromir. Now was that so hard?** _

Needless to say, the next morning I was extremely embarrassed to the point where I sure as heck was not putting my face out my door until I was sure everyone was gone to breakfast. Unfortunately, I figured without the determination of Arwen who came and fetched me two hours after daybreak so that I could be breaking my fast with all and sundry I had not seen since the Council three days ago.

"No, really," I protested to the relentless Arwen who was following behind me to make sure I couldn't run for it, "I'm not hungry in any way, shape or form. A headache, a really bad headache. I got it this morning and it won't go away until I can stay quiet for a day or five."

Smiling, Arwen merely shook her head at my weak and unfruitful protestations and chivvied me along the halls, through doorways, and finally into the small, private room in which the family and friends of Elrond ate together. Don't get me wrong, they eat with everyone else most of the time but, after all, social interaction gets a little old after a while.

To my everlasting chagrin, all who had witnessed my strange afternoon were present and accounted for. Was it just me or was that what Arwen had in mind in getting my little behind out of my bed this morning. Maybe my chronic shyness would wear off with all this public humiliation. So, deciding to be as dignified as possible, I straightened my back, lifted my chin, and marched into the room, ascertaining which seats were empty and farthest away from anybody. To my great displeasure, the only seat besides Arwen that was empty was right next, and I mean next, to Elladan with Legolas on the other side. Rhov was exactly across from that awful chair of doom.

All looked up and smiled serenely in that horribly eerie elvish way that makes one wonder how such other-wordly beings came to be on this… whatever it is. My hands suddenly became cold and clammy but I merely stuck them in the folds of my dress and swept to my chair that was held by dear Halbarad. He was the only one (again!) whom I could take comfort from as we were the only two humans in this pack of non-earthly things. Smiling encouragingly my way, he helped me into the chair and then slid it forward to the table's edge like a true gentleman. It gratified me, I'm sorry to say, to see Rhov's eyebrows contract slightly. Why in the world was I delighted every time I seemed to miff the very person I should not be miffing?

"I am glad to see you have recovered from your shock." Elrond said in what I could assume was a kindly manner.

"Shock?" I choked innocently. "Oh no, it wasn't shock, I just happen to be in that time of month and my nerves and emotions are all screwed up so don't take it personally." Now why had I gone and spit THAT out? To my relief, the only person who seemed to have even a glimmer of realization was Halbarad who, I'm very sure, has had experience with that sort of... thing. I have no idea if Elves... yeah, ok, I'm digressing: badly.

"You have a certain time of month when you are... upset?" Elrond asked, slightly taken aback.

"Oh yes." I replied cheerfully. "All females, eh, at least human ones, have this same thing. I won't explain it to you and be glad; I'm saving you all from TMI."

With one accord Legolas and Elladan's eyebrows shot up while everyone else merely looked puzzled. Both of my resident elves had experienced TMI from me before and knew that whatever I declared "TMI" was definitely to be kept to myself without exception.

I noticed Rhov's mouth opening but Legolas cut him off with a overly loud, "Elrohir, you said you finished your bow yesterday. I'd be interested in seeing it after breakfast."

The coversation switched accordingly to weaponery then to the different aspects of preparing for the mission, then to the journey itself. I said nothing the whole time and merely filled my raging stomach with the excellent fruit and what passed for Middle-Earth pancakes and no, it wasn't lembas. I hate lembas. So boring.

I had just finished scraping my plate clean and was preparing to make a quiet exit when Halbarad interrupted Elrond's hysterically solemn cautions about the Misty Mountain passes. "Adlanniel, perhaps you would like to learn a little archery?"

I stared open-mouthed at the man until his innocent look changed to one of perplexion. Finally, I was able to blab out, "Why?"

Gasping out a very unmanlike "ummm", Halbarad's face became the rich red of Arwen's lips and his head slumped down to stare at his plate. Legolas piped up right then to save the poor fellow from unnecessary embarassment. "She's only asking because none of us ever dared put anything even resembling a weapon in her hands before."

"Unforgivable paranoia, really." I said and then I stood up. "I would be delighted to take you up on your offer, Halbarad. I shall be in the music room whenever you're ready." With what I hoped was a graceful toss of my plain brown hair, I turned and walked swiftly out the door and down the hall to my bedroom to braid my hair.

When I was actually on my own planet, world, time zone, whatever, I had taken piano lessons from some old lady who decided I had some musical talent. She taught me to play the harp, the big one actually, and I did ok. I only remember a few and I enjoyed going to the music room in Rivendell where a couple harps, flutes, and stuff I didn't even bother trying to put a name to were kept for whoever wanted to play them.

Having washed my hands earlier, I rubbed them together as I sat down on a stool behind the smaller harp to warm them up. To my consternation, just as I began twiddling with the strings just to warm up, Rhov and Legolas appeared at the doorway. Both wore expressions of decided incredulity.

Rhov sat down on one of the four steps that led down into the room and shook his head. "Is that the music your people play?"

"No! I'm just warming up that's all." I snapped. Hey, I may have a crush on the guy but any dolt could see I was just plucking random strings.

"Warming up?"

"Yes." I sighed. No doubt an elf could plop down and plink out the Rachmaninoff Prelude, Op. 3, No. 2 no problem. I have no doubt that they are excellent sight readers. "I'm just getting my fingers used to the harp strings and also limbering them."

"I see." Rhov said. I watched him and Legolas out of the corner of my eye and realized they showed no intention of leaving. Apparently they were both prepared to hear something thoroughly strange and delightfully horrid. I had no intention of satiating their perverted curiosity and promptly began to thrum out "Greensleeves".

Coming to a small pause, I sneaked a look in their direction and saw Legolas' eyes were closed and he looked bored (considering that's all I ever played in Mirkwood) and a tiny bit dissappointed. Rhov was watching me very carefully and I do believe he was enjoying the tune.

When I finished, Rhov leaned back against the stair and said, "Beautiful, simple, yet beautiful. Did you write it?" Legolas merely opened his eyes and stared down at Rhov like the black-haired elf was in desperate need of physciatric counseling.

"Eh, no." I muttered. "Tell you what, I will play a Beethoven just for Legolas since he needs to hear something new." I began playing Fur Elise with a couple flourishes of my own. I liked adding stuff to whatever I played, which, of course, drove my poor teacher to distraction and the local shrink. But that was also because her son had gone and married a Las Vegas showgirl and her daughter refused to babysit my teacher's chihuahua. In honesty, I can understand not being to happy about the showgirl but jeez, just because your daughter is worried about her allergies? Sorry, digressing...

Finishing the slightly altered version of Fur Elise, I noticed that Legolas and Rhov had been joined by Halbarad who was staring at the harp with a completely unreadable look. I jumped up, refusing to look at Rhov. "I'm ready to go and twang a few strings!"

I heard Legolas groan. Turning I stuck my tongue out at the faking dramatic elf then, of all things, waved goodbye to the now-standing Rhov. He grinned and my heart stopped beating for a second. Wow... I'm serious, all guys should have a little dimple when they grin.

Halbarad had just taken my arm when Rhov suddenly decided something because his grin vanished within his huge smile as he bounded up and took my other arm.

"As Halbarad's protector I had better go along with you two to make sure Adlanniel doesn't kill anyone."

"Ha, ha." I murmured as Legolas brought up the rear of our strange quartet and we moved out of the music room and towards the outside. I noticed my Caucasian skin looked suddenly very, very white against Rhov's dark brown and Halbarad's leather colored skin. Boy, if Rhov and I ever had kids they would such a pretty coffee color...

I hate my brain. It really shouldn't think things like that.

We reached the archery field without incident and Halbarad and Rhov dropped my arms with alacrity and began to string their bows (Rhov had left his here yesterday), check the tension, and several other things that I, as a newbie, didn't recognized at all. Finally they seemed to have their bows ready and I could see Legolas looking once more at Rhov with that strange, observing look that was usually held for fools and idiots.

Humph. It wasn't as if I was going to purposefully point my arrow in the direction of one of them. Twiddling my thumbs, I sat down on the grass as Rhov and Halbarad tried a few practices shots that all went sickeningly dead center. Without realizing it, I began to idly rip grass up, play with it, then toss it and reach for another clump. Legolas winced every time the ripping sound reached his delicate ears but the other two seemed to engrossed in their archery. Legolas doesn't understand my basic human instinct to rip up grass, he thinks it's a little disturbing.

I was just getting Legolas to his certain line of toleration when things start getting fun when Halbarad stopped shooting and turned to me. "Would you like a try now, my lady."

Smirking over at the glaring Legolas, I brushed off my hands and turned toward Halbarad. With a grin, I nodded and reached for his bow that he was holding out. I heard Legolas shift behind me and knew that he had taken refuge behind Rhov. I couldn't understand why that stupid elf believed me to be such a dreadful menace when it came to weaponry since I had never even been given a dagger to play with. Of course it could be my attitude toward weapons that made him a little nervous; after all, one isn't supposed to "play" with daggers.

"Adlanniel," Halbarad said with a smile, "you're holding the bow upside down."

"Heh, so I am." I said. Halbarad then began going over the bow with me pointing out where I was to notch my arrow, where my fingers needed to be, how to pull my elbow back, how not to snap the string against my elbow, essentially the basics.

Rhov and Legolas stood back, now and then adding a little something here or there. Finally I was ready to notch my first arrow and try to "shoot it in the general direction of the target," as Legolas put it.

You know how in movies whenever the girl is learning to shoot a gun or an arrow the guy always stands behind her and then they end up kissing? Well none of the three gallants did that and I decided it must be a purely Earthian thing. A little nervous I lifted the bow and pulled the string back. I pulled air into my lungs and let it out slowly as I released the string as Halbarad had directed. The arrow made a halfhearted leap and landed about 20 feet from where we were standing. I heard muffled wheezes, groans, and choking as the three (headed by Legolas) made a concerted effort to not laugh outloud.

I guess I should have been embarrassed but Mom said I had never had anything resembling basic human pride when it came to learning something new. Sure I blush at about everything except when I'm learning something. Then I don't care as long as someone shows me what I did wrong.

It was Rhov this time who came over and began to explain everything all over again. Granted, it was annoying hearing the same thing again but I decided to grit my teeth and just listen again. Maybe this was the way they learned.

Finishing up, Rhov walked back a couple steps and I could feel three pairs of eyes on me as I raised my upper body, pulled the string back, thought about everything Rhov and Halbarad had said, let out a soft breath and let the string go. The arrow actually went a decent distance this time, sure it didn't hit the target but it was only about 10 feet away from it.

"Not bad, really." Legolas said nonchalantly behind my back. "For a first time."

Glancing back, I noticed that Legolas was no longer taking refuge behind Rhov but was standing in the open like any respectable elf his age instead of acting like the kids I used to babysit. "Thanks. Actually if someone would show me how to stand correctly and where my elbows should be I would appreciate it."

They looked at each other and then Rhov and I both realized that Halbarad and Legolas were staring not at each other but at Rhov; quite pointedly actually.

"Oh fine!" Rhov snorted and the other two grinned. "I need not remind you, Halbarad, that this was your idea in the first place."

Well, I was feeling quite flattered by Rhov's eagerness and began to become very businesslike. Any ideas of romantic goings-on faded as I looked at Halbarad and Legolas' snickering smirks. I would show them I could fire an arrow with some modicum of dignity even with an extremely handsome elf helping me!

However, all my good, noble, business-like intentions went out the window when Rhov stepped up behind me, put his arms around me, and began pushing my hands into place on the slack bow. Only when I imagined Orlando Bloom as the actual one framing me was I able to get nauseous enough to concentrate. With Rhov holding my elbows in place, I pulled the string back a third time, went through all my moves and to my everlasting delight, the arrow sunk its shaft into the target. Albeit it didn't even touch the colored part, I felt I had reached a hill in my archery.

Rhov back up and clapped my shoulder with a manly gesture. "Well done, Adlanniel. Perhaps we will make an archer out of you yet."

Oh, gee thanks. "Thanks to you and Halbarad not to old squeamy over there."

Legolas stuck his tongue out at me in a very Earthian human way that was quite disgusting for someone of his ethnicity. I'm serious, some guys look quite cute when they stick their tongues out but elves…? I don't think even Rhov could pull that off.

A yell from behind us made us all look. Pippin was flying down the small slope that led up to the house and his curly hair shone in the bright autumn sunlight. Right then I knew that hobbits were perhaps the most familiar things to my former reality and I loved them. Gee, no wonder we all sort of protected the brave, resourceful, definitely scary when-made-mad hobbits.

"Quick, quick, Elrond needs all of you!" Pippin yelled again, then he reached us. Almost without stopping he swerved around Rhov and grabbed my hand then wrenched me toward the Last Homely House leaving the other three to run after us. Another thing about hobbits: they are very strong.

As I was hauled along behind the young hobbit, I managed to gasp out. "What in the world is going on, Pippin?"

"I have no idea! Elrond just looked like he'd swallowed a cat and couldn't get it out!"

I blinked and decided I was very confused.


	12. The Traditional Filler Chapter for

_**Okay, you can all kill me. I know that this tiny little chapter doesn't even begin to make up for my lack of updates but I was running out of juice and also, out of ideas. Finally I got a very good idea, so this is kind of the prelimnary to get me out of my slump. **_

_**Rhov: You hate me, don't you?**_

_**Dark-Sylph: Of course I don't. But you are the hero of the story and as such, you have to do the blatant declaration that I own nothing but you and Adlanniel.**_

_**Rhov: Glad to see you finally stuck with just calling her one name now.**_

_**DS: Hey, had to do it one of these days.**_

_**Rhov: This strange creature owns nothing but me and Adlanniel. Oh yeah, and some other minor characters that either don't have names, or are very unmemorable.**_

_**DS: So mean...**_

We burst into the house with the aplomb of a bomb (hee hee hee) making a daydreaming Elladan jump two feet in the air and screech like a girl. Pippin and I both giggled as the three Musketeers trooped in a bit statelier (and slower) behind us.

"What in the world do you think you're doing?" Elladan said once he had begun to breathe normally.

I smiled my most winningest smile at him and replied, "Answering the summons of Lord Elrond, sent by this most delightful young chap." I motioned at Pippin who was clutching his ribs. Probably a nasty bout of laughing fractured a rib or something.

"Yes," Rhov said behind me making the back of my throat tickle, "Lord Elrond apparently swallowed a cat?"

Elladan blinked several times at Rhov and then his eyes turned to me, a look that truly inspired me to go run in front of a charging rhino. Scary what that elf can do with those two lines between his eyes. Yeesh.

Thankfully, this rather ridiculous conversation ended abruptly as Elrond, the cat swallower himself, appeared.

"Ah, good, I am glad to see Pippin got you so quickly. Adlanniel, if you would not mind leaving us for the moment? I believe Arwen is in the music room." Elrond motioned impatiently towards the door leading into the main house.

With a sigh of resignation and a pooched-out lower lip, I strode towards the music room for the second time that day, huffing the whole time to myself about insensitive men and elves. Even Pippin got to hang out, well, maybe not, but he sure didn't seem to have to have a telling-off in front of everyone.

Flouncing into the music room, I flopped dejectedly onto a backless-couch thingy. Arwen seemed to have quit waiting for me because no one was in the room. I was just about ready to start banging something that looked like an oversized snare drum, when Arwen appeared. There were wet tracks running from her eyes and disappearing at the point of her chin. That was the only way I knew she had been weeping because her eyes weren't red and puffy and her nose wasn't even pink. Oh yes, and she also skipped the watery snot that human beings, like myself, get everywhere when we bawl.

Noticing me take in her perfect, watery face, Arwen smiled at me but it was a very half-hearted affair. I sort of wondered why she was so morose until she blurted out in a very unelf-like manner, "They're leaving tomorrow!"

"What?" I shrieked, no doubt making someone in the near ten miles cringe at the decibels blowing out their eardrums. "Why?"

"Because the orc signs are becoming worse by the day and Elrond wants the Fellowship to leave as quickly as possible or else the mountain passes will be too unsafe. Rhov has to go back to the Rangers near Bree and keep off the evil from the Shire as long as possible. King Thranduil had wished you to return to Mirkwood but now it is far too dangerous." Arwen blabbed all this information out in a rapid-fire speech that is very unlike her.

"Are you saying that they have to get everything together in one day? Is Elrond nuts?" I squawked.

Arwen apparently was too distraught to notice my less than usual vocabulary. She twisted the folds of her dress in a ball then dropped it then started all over again. I couldn't understand why she was so unhappy, especially since Rhov was… Oh, yeah, she was kissing Aragorn the other night, wasn't she? I detract my less then kind thoughts about hysterical elven women.

"I'm not sure what you mean by my father being a… nut? but I will say that it is the wisest thing to do. At least this way the Fellowship may be able to make it over the mountain passes without orcs troubling them. I only hope…" Here Arwen stopped and gulped back what I expect was a sob and sat down on the harp bench.

The scales had tipped to Arwen's side for the cryfest time. For an hour and a half, I held her hand, hugged her, stroked her hair, a billion things that women need in their time of need that guys just go, "Huh?" to. Finally, the princess of elves collected her emotions and gently pushed me away so she could wipe her eyes. To my disgust, they were only a mild pink shade and her nose wasn't even running. Some things in this world just aren't fair.

"So," I start, when Rhov pads into the room, his eyes glowing with a strange, faraway look that I found highly, uh, disconcerting. ::cough, cough::

Arwen jumps up and throws herself at Rhov. I found the fact that his eyes snapped back to the present with a whiplash very funny. If I had done that, I think I would be cross-eyed for a month.

"Rhov! Has my father decided to let you go?" Arwen asked in a sort of desperate groan.

"Nay, sister, your father is steadfast that only nine should go. Besides, he wishes that I stay with the Grey Company, for he foresees a great need for us in the future. What that is, I do not know." Rhov pats Arwen on the back and then pushes her back on her couch.

It strikes me that Arwen probably wants Rhov along to keep an eye on Aragorn, keep him safe, in other words. I mean, come on, if I wanted a bodyguard, Rhov or Legolas would be my first choice. Although Aragorn and Halbarad are a very close second. "Aragorn can take care of himself, Arwen. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Rhov has been pulled out of a jam by Aragorn more than the vice versa."

"What?" Arwen gulped and I experienced the extremely familiar feeling of being a Costa Rican in Siberia.

"Nothing." I reply and Rhov grins. I'm entirely sure that he understood less than Arwen but my gut feeling is that he got the basic idea.

"Lady Adlanniel, would you do me a very great kindness of escorting Lady Arwen to her rooms and then coming back here. There is something of which I need to speak." Rhov states blandly.

I had a certain difficulty keeping my eyebrows from shooting up to full-mast at his question. I could understand taking Arwen to her room to relax (she was completely falling apart), but why in the world would Rhov want to speak with me? Pictures of a Rhov bending down on one knee to pledge his undying love to me, bombarded my brain and then reality struck. Okay, so Arwen had mentioned he felt attracted to me, but what moron in his right mind would propose to me after knowing me for only a few days? A moron.

Abandoning all hopes of such a thing happening, I mumble my acceptance. Grabbing Arwen, I led her off down the halls to her room, wondering why in the world Rhov wanted to talk about my past. Unless of course he wanted to know more about Earth… Hmmm…

I dropped off Arwen into the arms of her maid and then walked back towards the music room, oddly reluctant to do it. I wasn't sure that (bar the romantic) I really wanted to hear what Rhov had to say. Probably something to do with taking care of Arwen or something.


	13. The InEvitable Angsty Chapter

**_ - 03/24/08 - Well, I can't believe it. I actually wrote a full-length chapter and uploaded it. I think I'm in shock. Everyone, I cannot tell you how very sorry I am about not updating before this but my life has been in a complete earthquake for a while and I've finally been able to just sit down and write. I hope you guys have fun reading this new development in Adlanniel's (or whichever her stupid names you wish). I certainly had fun writing it. Be warned, the first few paragraphs I wrote about a year ago and the my writing has gotten a little more, um, mature since last time so that's why there is an inconsistency to the chapter from the others. _**

**_Please review and I would love any suggestions you guys have to change the idea or to kill anyone off. Since Rhov and Adlanniel are my only made up characters that could be a little difficult. However, I am killing off Boromir, but I think all of you knew that already._**

**Toodle-pip for now and I hope to see you all again. And again DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!! Not that I'm begging or anything. Dark-Elf**

I entered the music room, thinking it would be just Rhov. Instead, I was faced with Elrond, Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, and Rhov. They were huddled together and talking softly, stopping the instant I stepped into the room, which made me suspect they had just been discussing me. "What's all this?" I asked, a little irritated.

"Adlanniel," Elrond began in a tone that dripped with authority, "we have need of your unusual services."

"I beg your pardon?" I bellowed. "What services, I don't do anything special except for being a burden and irritation to the entirety of Middle-Earth!" I inwardly winced; I had just answered way too honestly.

Elrond appeared momentarily struck dumb and it was Legolas to the rescue. "Be that as it may, Adlanniel, you do have some rather peculiar gifts beyond that. I have informed Lord Elrond of your ability to read any language and both of us agree that you can probably speak all languages as well." He stopped to wait for my reaction to all this. I kept my face blank of all expression.

"You see, Rhov has had a, um, a…" Legolas faltered to a real halt this time and looked pleadingly over at Rhov who was staring at me.

I sighed and flopped unceremoniously onto a stool. "Don't tell me, the elf has had a vision of some sort and it's in his ancient language that none of you have ever bothered to learn because you thought the strain had died out or stayed east of everything and now I have to interpret someone else's dream…. Wait! How come Rhov can't translate for himself?"

It was Gandalf's turn to talk and he glared down at me from beneath his bushy gray eyebrows. "This is the ancient language of the Maia and no one since the First Age has spoken that language. It is holy, almost untouchable, and above all, dangerous. Essentially, only those who can understand it are allowed to deal with the power that is the Maia's speech."

My head dropped into my waiting hands and I rested my elbows on my knees. Wonderful, I was now up to _here_ in big, huge, old trouble. That is the worst sort of trouble, I think. Do not mess with ancient stuff; it is a little slippery. "Why, in the world, are you worried about a dream that Rhov had when you should be packing?" I muttered through my fingers. Rather unfortunately, elves have darn good hearing and Aragorn and Gandalf weren't far behind in figuring out what I had said.

Rough, callused fingers touched my cheek and I heard Aragorn say, "Elves do not dream as we humans do, Adlanniel. If the Maia have spoken to him at such a time as this, it is well that we know what they wish to say. Eru knew that you were here and sometimes I wonder if He was not the one who gave you such a gift so we might be helped at this time. Listen to Rhov, Adlanniel."

I nodded and lifted my head from my hands. "Shoot." I said. Blank stares focused on me and I rolled my eyes. You'd think after having lived here for… what is it, 50, 100 years, I would've dropped the American lingo. "I mean, proceed with whatever you need to say." Good golly, I need to be more careful with my language or I might have an arrow sticking out of me one of these days.

Rhov spoke, finally, in a deep sweet voice in a language that seemed musty, old, and almost unpronounceable but filled to the last syllable with something far more terrible and beautiful than a word like magic could describe. But I could still understand what he was saying but I understood it in the same language; there was no translating, merely an understanding.

_From ancient stones and woods, Come we of elder days to speak with our child_

_Of darkness and light._

_Look to the swan-men of the sea and do not follow_

_Your brother to the western shores or your heart_

_Will be stolen from its rightful owner._

_Keep your mind fixed on the company and_

_Heed the Lady of the Wood._

_Lastly, do not go out when all others must,_

_Else you will die and your love will fade._

I sat for a moment, ruminating on the meaning of such an odd, rather oblique little poem that didn't even rhyme. For a moment, everything was still, silent and I felt something like a ribbon of… a strange beautiful song coming to me and I dropped my hand to the harp sitting next to me. Without really thinking about it, I began to pluck the strings of the harp to the tune encircling me in its mystic smoothness. All of a sudden, pictures so beautiful and terrible began to sweep in front of my eyes so fast and steadily I shut my eyes, hoping they would go away. Instead they slowed down and became such vivid colors and shapes, such as I had never seen in my old world or in this one. I kept playing the music for it was all that seemed to keep my being together, threads that were becoming tighter and stronger.

A hard poke in the ribs ended my rather enjoyable weirdness startled me and I snapped my eyes open.

Rhov, Elrond, and Gandalf were all staring very hard at me, with a sort of blatant horror that irked me. Aragorn was tapping his chin and watching me as if I was a strange creature in a cage. Legolas pulled away from where he had poked me, a strange, I would almost call it fearful glint in his eyes. The threads of music drifted away and the ribbon that had kept my body close to the harp loosened and then shredded to nothingness.

I dropped my hands from the harp strings and stared at the others trying to figure out how to explain what happened.

Right as my lips began to open, Elrond's suddenly said in a quiet, thoughtful tone. "You are not a Maia, are you?"

The idea was so ridiculous that the whole strange picture seemed to shatter away and I almost laughed out loud but choked it down. Everyone except Gandalf and Elrond involuntarily backed up several steps. Ok, now I knew I was different somehow from my brother's whacked-out time machine and all, but the odds of my becoming whatever mystic being a Maia was in the process was, well, entirely impossible.

"Don't be silly. I will admit that was very strange and very dangerous whatever happened, but guys, I am not a mystic being. Really. The reason I can read, speak, and translate different languages is probably because my brother foresaw the problem that being illiterate in a new place could cause. He probably just forgot he wanted to make my new life a living hell and didn't bother fixing his space-time continuum coordinates." I was feeling completely normal now, actually so normal, I was feeling hungry.

"I see." Said a very relieved-looking Gandalf. As a matter of fact, everyone seemed very happy to have me back to my normal self. A catalyst to be sure, very strange to be sure. Gandalf's eyebrows went up. "Now, what did Rhov's message say?"

I started to repeat the poem, lyric, whatever it was, and felt the ends of the ribbon started to drift back to life. I stopped so fast the others blinked. No offense to them, but I had the feeling that I didn't want the ribbon to come back so fast. Perhaps, since the message was for Rhov alone and perhaps I just didn't want to experience that awful grasping ribbon again.

I looked up into Elrond's confused eyes and shook my head. "I don't think I can tell you right now."

Elrond nodded and some understanding came from him. Without a word, he grasped Aragorn and Legolas by the arms and pulled them out the door with him. They didn't seem particularly unhappy to go. Personally I would much rather pack than be faced with a very strange, completely insane circumstance where even your elderly and very wise, um, elders, are sort frightened of someone. Or, come to think of it, something might be a better general description. What are Maia, anyway?

Rhov and Gandalf were left and both had the most quizzical smiles drifting across their faces. We sat (or in their case stood) for several moments in silence. I couldn't bring myself to look into Rhov's eyes or Gandalf's so I closed my eyes and began playing the harp. The threads of the message's tune came back to me and I played it, very happy to notice that the ribbon wasn't coming back.

Suddenly I didn't want to stop playing, the entity that was myself slowly disappearing into oblivion and I was losing track of whether or not there had been a beginning to the music. It seemed that the music had been playing forever and it would never end. Fear, but a great joy seemed to clutch my heart and I wondered if I wanted to, if I could truly end the music.

"Adlanniel, you must come back." A hard, ugly voice sliced into the swirling beauty. Something exploded in front of me, and my entire world shattered with a splintering crash.

I was back in the music room and it was dark with the peaceful pale silver of a half-moon shining through the windows. The harp gleamed with a cold beauty and I realized I was still seated on the stool but no one was in front of me. But then a touch of warmth settled on my shoulder and I whipped around. I must have been dizzy or just a trifle off kilter because I fell of the stool and hit the rug-covered stone floor with a jarring thud. I must have hit it really hard because an awful pain ripped down my spine.

"Easy, child, easy." Said a warm gruff voice and strong arms picked me right off the floor. Gandalf stood in my line of vision and his face was whiter than moonlight could ever make it. He was gripping his staff with pale knuckles and his eyes were glittering with some fierce fire. "You must no speak. Try not to make any quick movements or you might really be lost."

I dearly wanted to ask what in the world he meant when it came to me that someone was holding me that I hadn't yet identified. Slowly, I turned my head up and saw that it was a frightened, perhaps slightly angry Rhov who was holding me. Then it struck me that both Gandalf and Rhov had seen what had happened after I started playing the Maia's music. Maybe they could explain what happened to me. I turned back to Gandalf a little too fast because an explosion of exceptionally fierce pain pierced my head and I tried to stifle the scream that demanded to be let out. What came out was something like a strangled whimper. Rhov's arms tightened rib-crushingly around my shoulders and legs.

Gandalf stifled a groan. "I told you, Adlanniel, easy does it. Now we shall speak of this in the morning before the Fellowship leaves. Rhov knows enough to tell you the details after I leave. But you must rest and do not move again. Sufficed to say, you are dealing in dangerous waters and whatever happened to you on the journey here from your world, it was significant. As a matter of fact, I hope your brother doesn't try fixing the space-time continuum again. It seems to be a very delicate process that requires great thought and planning. It is Eru's great mercy that allowed you to come unharmed and whole to us."

At Gandalf's reference to the space-time continuum, I wanted to laugh really hard but I settle for a large grin. I was so very glad to be back out of that strange world and most certainly it was a bonus to be held by Rhov in that protective (if a bit tight) manner. For some reason, at my smile, Gandalf slumped over his staff and plopped down on a handy bench with, I assume, either relief or irritation. At least his face had resumed his normal color and Rhov responded to Gandalf's action by loosening his hold.

After a moment, Gandalf stood and touched my cheek with the tips of his fingers. I hadn't realized I was freezing until he did because his fingers felt like liquid fire racing through my skin and into my blood. Then I could remember no more. I'm fairly sure I either fainted or just slipped into a dreamless sleep with no music or pain.

I woke to a wet cloth being dabbed on my face, droplets of moisture dripping down my neck. My eyes opened and I saw it was Arwen wielding the washcloth with a grim Elrond standing behind her. Both of them noticed at the same time I was awake and it was Arwen that shrieked and fell off the bed. Elrond merely closed his eyes and groaned. I was slightly appalled at their reaction to my joining the living, you'd think they'd be happy, not screaming and groaning and… clutching their foreheads?! That was just a tad much.

"What?" I snapped and both Elrond and Arwen (who had stood up behind her father) stared at me, the whites of their eyes very prominent. Then I remembered that Gandalf had said no talking and I braced for something really horrible to happen. When nothing did, I glared at Elrond. "What?" I repeated and pushed myself upright.

Gandalf's voice, bright and pleasurably grumpy growled from the doorway. "Lord Elrond is merely relieved that you are awake and able to speak. Although why he should be happy about the latter is beyond me."

"Steady on." I said and grinned as I noticed several familiar heads peeking over Gandalf's be-robed shoulders. A thought suddenly struck me. "Gandalf, aren't you supposed to be toddling off for your heroic, death-and-glory adventure with all those strange people behind you?"

"Actually, Adlanniel," Legolas piped up from behind the wizard, "we were supposed to be on the road yesterday."

I blushed, feeling ashamed at causing everyone to delay but just a tiny bit gratified that they all couldn't bear to leave without knowing my circumstances. If, of course, that was the reason for their continued residency. "Why aren't you, then?"

"Because," commented Merry, who had scooted his way around Gandalf and Elrond and plopped himself on my bedside, "your rotten brother wouldn't move from his perch on the bench outside no matter what and we really couldn't tie him up and throw him over Bill. The poor pony would break his back. And Rhov couldn't take his place to represent the elves and Eru forbid that the twins do it. So, here we are." And he flopped full-length next to me, hands behind his head.

"Yes, and I'd better move before someone pushes me over." Gandalf said and sidled away from the doorway, effectively unblocking the entry. Legolas rushed over, nearly knocking a very amused Bilbo flying. Legolas wrapped his arms around me and hugged me so tight I'm sure my eyes looked as if they were going to pop out.

I saw Aragorn, all the other hobbits (Pippin was kindly steadying Bilbo), Elladan and Elrohir, and Rhov. They were all smiling in that giddy, silly sort of way that translates great relief and/or delight that now they could get on with their trip. When my gaze finally settled on Rhov, he looked straight into my eyes and I thought I heard him whisper my name as if from across a distant place, but his lips didn't move.

Legolas pulled back and I noticed that he was crying and my neck felt wetter than before. He clutched my face in both his hands and said sharply but almost in a whisper, "Don't you ever, ever do anything like that again. I don't care if the whole world demands you do it, you will refuse. I have almost died a thousand deaths the last few hours and it would kill my father for sure if you left us. Eru be praised, He did not require your presence in His halls yet."

A single tear trickled down my cheek and he wiped it away. I leaned forward and kissed his forehead and then hugged him close. This is what my brother should have been to me and thanks to the fates or Eru or whatever, I had been given my true brother.

Some loud sniffling caused Legolas and I to let go of each other and look down at the lounging Merry. He was wiping his nose on my sheets.

"Very touching." Gandalf said with forced acerbity (I noticed him handing a handkerchief back to a grinning Bilbo). "Now, friends we must collect our dwarf and the man of Gondor and prepare to leave before lunchtime."

"What?" Said five hobbit-voices at the same time. "Before lunchtime?"

I stood with Gandalf on the steps of the Last Homely House, watching the flurried, last minute preparations that always plague the very beginning of a trip. Elrond, Arwen, the twins, and Rhov were all standing together with Aragorn, speaking in low, hushed tones. Frodo was bidding his last farewell to Bilbo who was gazing wistfully at everything, no doubt wishing he were younger and stronger. Gimli the dwarf was standing with the few dwarves that had accompanied him for the Council. Everyone had someone to stand with except for the man from Gondor, Boromir I believe Gandalf called him.

Since Gandalf was brooding and not inclined to speak, I drifted across the courtyard and no one seemed much to notice. Boromir noticed me approaching and bowed, a bit stiffly but I didn't mind.

"My lord, I have not had the pleasure of meeting you. I…"

"By the kings!" Boromir gasped, interrupting my nice little speech. "It is a goodly thing to hear the tongue of my people in the mouth of an elf! Pray, where did you learn it?"

Oh, dear. I must automatically be able to speak other people's languages. I must have spoken in Gondorian or something like that. I decided that I had better make things a bit clear to this man who, I was beginning to realize, was very handsome in terms of maturity and strength. Something seemed awfully familiar about him but I couldn't quite put into words why that was.

"I am no elf, my lord. Perhaps we should just say I am a human, for even Lord Elrond is not sure of what I am. As for knowing your language, it is a gift given to me when I entered this world. You must pardon me for startling you, I had thought I was speaking the Common Tongue."

"Pardon most readily given." Boromir laughed and it was pleasant, a true human manly laugh. "What is your name, lady."

I smiled and curtsied. "As I was going to say before you interrupted me, sir. I am Adlanniel, ward of the King of Mirkwood and guest of Lord Elrond. I most glad to meet you, Lord Boromir, son of the Steward of the White Tower." Now how the heck did I know that?

"You know a great deal about me, my lady. Do these elves and wizards speak to you as an equal then?" Boromir said, his eyes ablaze with curiosity.

"They are my friends and family, good sir, and since I am an unknown to them, it is understandable that they treat me with care I suppose. You see that elf there, with the fair hair, bow strung and quiver full? He is my brother, Legolas Prince of Mirkwood. Will you watch him for me?" I held out my hand to shake his.

Boromir smiled, showing strong if somewhat yellowed teeth. "It would be my pleasure Lady Adlanniel." And he grasped my hand.

I was about to tell him that I was no Lady in title or personality when a rushing feeling, like a wave crashing into me hit like a freezing shower and I saw this man, full of arrows in his chest and back, dying with Merry and Pippin's voices screaming somewhere near. Then a terrible fear and hunger for something… the ring pierced me through the heart and I cried out.

"Lady!" A bellow brought me back to earth with a jerk. This was getting heartily exasperating. Couldn't I just stay in this time zone and life with getting thrown around and seeing things?

Boromir had still held my hand in a tight grip but his face was white as a snowdrift. Fortunately he hadn't yelled too loud because no one had come running to see what happened. Except for Gandalf who was striding across the courtyard toward us with a fierce gleam in his old eyes. Rhov was following. Oh lovely, as if I hadn't already given those two enough heart attacks for a lifetime. I dearly hoped this wasn't as bad in terms of severity as what happened in the music room.

"What just happened?" I asked as Boromir loosened his grip.

"Lady, I am not sure." Boromir choked out. "Your eyes turned completely white and your face was filled with an strange, fearful light."

"Really?" I said, beginning to feel a little light-headed. "I'm having some problems with containing my aura, sometimes it breaks through the force-field." Great, now I was speaking nonsense.

Boromir blinked and started to say something when Gandalf strode up with Rhov in tow and put his hand on top of my head. Something that felt like warm bathwater trickled down my body from head to feet. Life seemed to spring into my veins and I was very decided this had better be the last time Gandalf had to do this. I was getting vexed at freezing up and what would happen if Gandalf wasn't around to warm me up? Not a good thought.

Rhov was speaking to Boromir. "What happened, Boromir, did she faint?"

"No, she seemed very well until I took her hand and then her eyes turned to white fire and light seemed to fill her face and her skin turned to ice. Does she do this often?" Boromir sounded rather worried as if he was afraid that if he let go of my hand, I'd go absolutely berserk.

"She has spoken to the ancient Maia and she has seen some part of Eru's song of creation. Eru saw fit to return her to us but this must be a lingering effect of her experience." Rhov said and Boromir let go of my hand. This was news to me, why in the world didn't anyone tell me this?

Gandalf took his hand away from my head and took my left hand, the one that had touched Boromir's. "This is no lingering malady, Rhov. Now, I am glad to see you made Boromir's acquaintance but now you must say farewell to him and to the others. We must leave. Don't touch anyone else you don't know, Adlanniel. I do believe it is safe to shake Boromir's hand just, for the sake of my nerves, don't do the same with Gimli." And with that perfectly clear and succinct statement, Gandalf strode over to Elrond who had been watching us.

For some reason, I dearly wanted to speak kind words to Boromir, to hear him speak of his homeland. A strange and awful certainty that Boromir would never hear his own countrymen's speech again or see his white tower again was crushingly sorrowing.

On some strange impulse, I reached up and cupped his cheek in my hand and gazed into his grey eyes. Words that I hadn't even planned to say sprang out of my mouth with frightening sense. "My Lord Boromir, we shall never meet in this world again. I ask you to be careful on this journey and to beware of your very self. We humans have many gifts that the elves may never bear, but they are heavy burdens at times. Do not let yourself be crushed by your hopelessness, your people have the King coming to them. Have no fear that they shall be safe. Now, bend your head and let me bless you, that your victory be assured through Eru."

It was strange to hear such words coming from me, of all people. But that hideous certainty and a strange knowing of what this man needed to hear egged me on and kept me from shutting up and running away. He seemed to have an understanding and he bent his head to me and I kissed his forehead, wishing with every bit of my being that I would be wrong and see him again.

"I thank you, Lady Adlanniel, for your kind words, I shall carry them within my heart. And I have not forgotten your request, I shall see to your brother's safety." Boromir said in a thick voice and straightened up.

"Oh, and sir, the two hobbits, Merry and Pippin, I rather think they will need a little guidance in sword play and you seem to be very competent. Now I take my leave, may Eru keep and bless you on your quest." I curtsied and smiled once more into his eyes.

A hand settled on to my shoulder and I realized that Rhov was still next to me. I had completely forgotten about him, oddly enough. He bowed to Boromir as well and then steered me away towards Legolas and Aragorn. As I bid farewell to my brother, to Aragorn, to all the hobbits there was something niggling in the back of my head, some strange premonition that when I saw these again, none would be as they were now. They were to go through fire and death, to see friends and brethern put to the sword. No, this was the end of something, not an era, but... something.

When I reached Gandalf, he took both my hands and bowed his head till our foreheads touched. "Lady Adlanniel," he said, in a whisper only I could hear, "you are a very special child, indeed you have become as one of the Children of the West who have never seen these shores but have dwelt in the light of the Two Trees. There is work for you here, and I think you know of it, if not clearly as of yet. I pray you to follow us on our journey with Rhov and not to be afraid to go back to the Maia, for you might entreat them of our quest. Eru Himself may hear you and He is not evil; He is Sauron's greatest and most powerful enemy, something which our evil enemy has forgotten in his desire to rule Middle Earth.

"Stay close to Rhov for he understands these things, perhaps better than Lord Elrond or myself. Rhov will keep you safe and watch over you since I cannot. Your place is here for now. And may I remind you that I know what the Maia spoke to Rhov, and to you I think, be sure that you are the Lady of the Wood. May the blessings of Eru be upon you. I love you, my child, and I will see you again, perhaps not in this world, but on the white shores of the Western Lands."

A familiar, strangling lump filled my throat. Gandalf's words had filled me with dread, but also with hope; I was not alone and if I indeed was the Lady of the Wood the Maia had spoke of, perhaps I could be of some use to everyone as Gandalf had said. I nodded and felt the tear beginning to trickle down my cheeks. But I did not wish to part with Gandalf with terror. Even though it came out thick and phlegmy (be it known, I may have had some sort of out-of-body experience but it hadn't seemed to clear up my more irritating human problems such as phlegm), I still managed to sound happy. "My grey father, I shall see you again in this world but you will have changed slightly, I think. Pray, keep an eye, or two, on Bill, I rather think he has a mischievous streak in him."

Gandalf pulled away and looked me straight in the eye. "Adlanniel, you are a strange little creature. Here Rhov, take this child and make sure she doesn't kill herself while we're gone. Heaven only knows I'm going to have fits not knowing if she's gone and shredded the fabric of the universe."

As the Fellowship trooped out of the courtyard, I felt Rhov's hand touch mine and then gather it up in his long fingers and squeeze. Then Arwen slipped her hand into my free hand and so we stood there, watching our friends and family disappear out the gateway, turning left towards the exit from valley.

Elrond and the twins were turning back into the Homely House and the other elves and Gimli's dwarves had begun to drift to some other place.

I had a sudden, very silly idea and tearing my hands out of Rhov's and Arwen's, I dashed up to the wall and then up the stairs to the walkway. I could see the Nine Companions slowly beginning the steep climb up the cliffside.

"Legolas!" I bellowed. Rhov skidded to a halt next to me and sent a 'for goodness sake!' glare my way. Legolas turned around and the others stopped and glance back towards us. "Legolas, don't forget to give Aragorn a kick in the pants for me now and then!" This time, I knew that only Legolas and Rhov understood me. At least I'm fairly sure they could only understand me since it was Legolas I was speaking exclusively to and apparently I blab out the very particular language of the subject I'm talking to. So I was mostly confident that I was speaking in woodelf lingo. At this point, I couldn't tell when I switched from language to language.

Legolas waved to me to acknowledge and then turned back. I noticed that Aragorn was glaring suspiciously at Legolas. My eyesight must be getting better if I could see that.

Rhov and I watched the company walk to the top of the valley and then over the edge to disappear. He didn't say anything till they had gone and then he looked down at me with a strange coupling of a grimace and grin. "One of these days, Adlanniel, I will start to understand you."

I grinned back up at him and patted his arm. Now that the company had disappeared, the twist in my gut had vanished. "Don't bet on it, buddy. Don't forget I am a girl and you are a guy. I highly doubt you will ever understand me. Your kind haven't been able to do it in the millions of millenia of my old earth, why should you be able to do it?"

"What does you're being a girl have to do with anything?" Rhov said, cocking his head in a very dashed handsome way.

"Because, silly, I said so."


	14. Maia Radio Show

**I am so sorry for making everyone wait this long. I hope that the fact this is a longer chapter than normal will ease some of the murderous intentions towards me. It is something of a filler chapter so I'll try next time to put some action or whatever in. Thank you everyone who has reviewed and to all my faithful readers. You guys are awesome!**

**--Dark-Elf  
**

In the following days after the fellowship left, nothing weird happened and Rhov's constant shadowing was beginning to wane much to everyone's relief. Eladan and Elrohir had left to join the Dunedain on the borders of the Shire. Dark creatures from the Northern Mountains had begun to drift down from their cold lairs and the green hills and valleys of the Shire were too good a target to pass up.

I was feeling perfectly fine. Not one weird thing had happened to me since Boromir and the elves were actually willing to to call plain Adlanniel again instead of some name I can't even pronounce that had to do with Mouth of the Maia. At least that's what Rhov said, and I don't entirely trust him; I'm sure it was something far less dramatic. Although Gandalf promised that someone would explain everything to me, Elrond has been far too busy and Rhov seems very unwilling to say anything about the Maia. Arwen says she would tell me if she knew anything, Elrohir said he'd love to know so he couldn't tell me so he could watch me suffer.

Gandalf had also mentioned that I was supposed to watch the Fellowship's journey with Rhov but I was still absolutely mystified if that even made sense. I was no warrior, heck, I nearly killed Glorfindel the other day with a butter knife. On accident. Nor was I a particularly smart individual. Back home, I was an average student, mainly B's with a smattering of A's and C's. No one ever mentioned how talented I was because the only thing I could do fairly well was play piano and only recreational. I couldn't understand how I was "special" or supposed to help the Fellowship or Middle Earth. Drat that Gandalf, always so cryptic!

I was thinking this while munching on a butter cracker I had swiped from the breakfast table, and wandering around the gardens, bored to tears. My own fault of course considering that the Rivendel library was extensive -I can read any language after all (by the way, that doesn't count as natural talent because I didn't have it before my brother's weird machine sent me here)-. But there is only so many books a person can read before it's no longer fun. And all the stuff these people do for entertainment and relaxation is mostly way above my head or skill level. Archery, for example. Forget lending me a sword, and Eru forbid it has anything close to a sharp edge. Harps are fun but there are so many songs I can remember, and these people have to make their music so dratted hard!

The nice thing about scenery, you don't have to be anything special to enjoy it. There was no one moving around since everyone except me actually had something to do. I had even fallen so low as to beg to clean my own room this morning. I used to clean it on my own until the whole Maia and special language incident and now they won't let me do anything menial. I do believe that Arwen has something to do with it and I will have my revenge.

"Adlanniel! You are wanted!" Someone shouted, shattering my peaceful ruminations of how badly I was going to torture Arwen. I turned and Leyla, a sweet but very no-nonsense elf, was striding swiftly towards me; she never runs that one, only bears down on the unfortunate like a great flagship about to ram the poor, humble rowboat in her path.

"Why?" I whined. The only thing people wanted me for around here was to translate something in a book when Elrond was too busy to do it. "It's too nice outside to get stuck in a stuffy library with Eglathad. And his books are always so mind-numbingly boring, just stuff about the medicinal properties of Lone Mountain daisies. Please Leyla, don't let him torture me."

Leyla had borne down on me with impressive speed for someone not running. She is also, like everyone else around here not human, a good half-foot taller than me so she can look down her nose without trying and make me feel like mud puddle in a New York City alley if she wants too. The weird part is, she is also the sweetest thing when she wants to be. "If it was Eglathad, I would have never tried looking for you. Lord Elrond has been searching for you all morning. He and Rhov have a great need to speak with. Haste!"

With that, I was dragged off like a sheep to the slaughter but I wasn't going quietly. "Leyla, they don't need me for anything, it was all a fluke, it had to be. I'm an average student, never doing anything exceptionally crazy, I was going to be a History major in college for Pete's sake!" The woman has muscles of steel, and deaf ears because I was whining so bad the dogs should have started showing up thinking I'd whistled for them.

So with much high-pitched whining from me and firm, silent treatment from the long-suffering Leyla, we made it into the Last Homely House where I tuned down the whine because Leyla may be deaf but there are a lot of other elves at Rivendell with excellent, elven hearing and their tortured gazes as we went past, although hysterical, were pained enough to make me stop.

I have been here how many years and I still act like a sixteen year old. I wonder if my entire being is just in suspended animation. Hm, it was worth considering. I did try to act more up to my Middle-Earth age and began walking silently after Leyla although she still retained her iron grip on my arm.

We swept into the library where I found myself facing Elrond, Rhov, and about five or six elves that I knew only by sight. I didn't even know there names because I rarely saw them. As far as I knew, they were resident ambassadors from Lothlorien and Mirkwood. Generally they kept to themselves, only taking part in the large social occasions of Rivendell. All were looking very stern and just a tad apprehensive if my observational skills were worth anything.

"Leyla." Elrond spoke, his voice deep and serious. "You may leave. Please send the Lady Arwen here."

Leyla curtsied and released my arm, sweeping out of the room. I felt sorry for Arwen. Arwen may have been the Evenstar of her people, a beautiful, strong, and powerful elf, but anyone faced with Leyla on a mission would turn to quivering jello.

Feeling the blood flowing back into my arm, I rubbed and moved to sit on one of the few chairs sitting near the door. In case of a quick escape. I was giving Leyla five minutes to show up with Arwen and if they didn't show up, I was going to be a quick flash of green cotton out the door.

Rhov must have had an inkling of my plan because he raised his eyebrow at me and then glanced towards the library door. Rats. If he was keeping an eye on me for that reason there was no way I could make it out in time.

Elrond and the others remained silent, some of the ambassadors sending me strange glances that I couldn't interpret very well and were making me apprehensive. Rhov's eyebrow also stayed at an upraised position. I wanted so very badly to say something smart but there was a smothering air of ancient something that would just make me look ridiculous. I had to remind myself that these guys could say with complete ease "back five thousand years ago, remember when Galadriel..."

Counting the seconds in my head, I had almost my five minute marker when Arwen drifted in gracefully. Leyla did not accompany her and Arwen made a much more dignified entrance. I hate elves, they just shouldn't be allowed. I may be able to live forever too but they all have such a ridiculous head-start on me, that it's impossible for me to make to their levels of dignity and... whatever.

Elrond nodded at his daughter and motioned her to a seat which she declined. Elves seem to enjoy standing. I guess it's just habit for me to see a chair and sit. The silence continued but now everyone was looking at me.

"What?" I snapped. None of them even moved except one of the strange elves slid his eyes to glance at Elrond. His expression had lost its apprehension and seemed more along the lines of: "Seriously?"

Rhov spoke. "I have had another dream and it seems to be of the same origin. Lady Adlanniel, if you will, we would ask that you translate."

I was furious but terrified at the same time. If these people decided to keep me in the dark and just use me as a translator system they were dead wrong. And they were even deader (is that even a word?) if they thought I wanted to do it. All of this was so strange, so powerful that I did not want to mess with it, especially if they weren't going to tell me anything.

"No." I stated flatly. "You're all way older than me, know much more about what's going on, and I don't like messing with something I don't understand."

One of the strange elves smiled suddenly. It was a very scary, dangerous smile that made my toes freeze. He spoke in a soft, tenor voice that made my spine tingle like crazy. "Lady Adlanniel, these are desperate times for many. I do not care if you cannot understand such things that are far beyond your comprehension. For whatever strange reason, the Valar have decreed you be given a gift to understand the language of the creation and not those who are far wiser. You have no choice. You will do as Lord Elrond commands."

If I hadn't been so fearful of having a long elvish knife in my ribs, I might have gone after the guy. It made me even more wrathful to have someone speak to me so very condescendingly but I just kept telling myself they're how many thousands of years old, be good. It would have been nice to have Rhov or Elrond or even Arwen come to my defense, but none of them did.

Trying to keep the trembling from showing, I folded my hands and sat up straight. Looking the elf right in the eye with every cell in my body telling me to run out of the room screaming, I said as clearly as possible, "The Lord Elrond has not commanded me to do anything. I agree that I am the last person in Middle-Earth who should be able to do whatever it is that I do and personally, I would rather not have such a gift if gift it is."

My voice sounded small, trembly, and whiny. Drat. The elves have complemented me on my clarity of voice when I talk but unfortunately, I was unable to call up my important voice at a time when I really needed it. However, my little speech must have done something for me because the rude elf let go of the smile and merely glared at me. I can handle elf glares, just don't give me the "you-are-so-dead-if-you-twitch" smile.

"I command you, Adlanniel." Elrond said, his voice enviably clear and firm. Rats.

Bowing to the inevitable, I felt more normal. "Fine. What do you want me to do, place my hands on Rhov's head and mumble some old Elvish?"

The tension in the room slackened very slightly. Elrond motioned for me to stand, which I did. In silence the elf is an authority not to be disobeyed. Except when he's not entirely serious. And unfortunately for me, that is one reason why all the elves have been ignoring me. My need to make trouble can't be overridden by something even as serious as the Fellowship and coming war. I can't help it. So since elves seem to be rather single-minded when it comes to being serious, their opinion is that I should be the same way. So rather than scolding me all the time, they just make sure I'm kept away from the serious matters. Unless they need something translated.

I don't get it. These elves have been around for how long? They should know this stuff. There's no need to be hauling me into libraries and translating this and that. Heck, Rhov can pronounce the stupid language, why can't he know the meaning too?

Rhov moved and took my hands gently in his. "It would be easier than telling you. Last time it was very difficult to make sure I was repeating exactly as I had heard. Hearing it directly from the Maia would be simpler."

I couldn't help it, I really couldn't. "What, so you're some super-antenna for Maian frequencies now? I'm not a radio, you know."

There was a chilly silence. Even if they didn't understand most of what I had just said, all the elves in there knew I was making fun of the spectacle. Really, I don't understand how these stupid elves can communicate they way they do and seriously, telekineses would not be my first choice to explain how they do it. I mean, apparently Galadriel can make her voice heard in people's minds but I hadn't heard of anyone else who could do it so clearly. See, this is why I need someone to sit down and explain some things. And all the time I spend in Mirkwood doesn't count because the woodelves are more normal; if an elf can be equated with normality that is.

"OK, fine." I muttered and I felt Rhov's hands squeeze mine gently, as if in encouragement. So maybe he was on my side, or at least understood my feelings. "Do what you have to. I'll try and stay awake this time."

"She's not joking." I heard Arwen say.

"Now, lean towards me." Rhov said softly. I looked up at his face, into his bright green eyes and they smiled at me. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. I leaned towards him and he bent forward until our foreheads touched. "Close your eyes." was the silent command. Not bad at all.

A soft peace settled slowly over me. Then I began to see strange pictures as if they were drawn on the back of my closed eyelids. Not so nauseating as the first time but they came and went quickly, barely giving me time to understand what they were. The deepest voice I had ever heard in my life began speaking and the pictures stopped and everything became absolutely still except for the voice. It was the same language as before, ancient, powerful, and so very, very frightening. There was no music this time, for which I am eternally grateful because I felt less like a captive and more like a visitor. Maybe a not entirely welcomed visitor but I was allowed.

The voice stopped as suddenly as the pictures and only the blackness remained. It was rather helpful actually because I could think about what I had just seen and heard. The pictures had been so real, I almost felt the feelings of the people... It had been the Fellowship. I could feel the fear, the hope, the friendship, and something else very different. Evil so potent I would much rather be skewered by a elvish smile than have something like that close to me. It was the Ring and it was so strong it seemed to swallow up all the other emotions. Then I could feel a freezing, bone-chilling cold; wet snow, hard rock. Somewhere deep, with no light, a nameless terror.

My eyes opened so suddenly my head started spinning. No strength was left in my legs and I would have crumpled onto the floor like a bag of laundry if Rhov wasn't holding my arms in a death grip. It's not fair. I have to look weak and frail all the time. It would be nice if these incidents didn't leave me looking like a helpless child.

Rhov maneuvered my limp body to the chair and pushed me down into it. "Do not speak. Let the moment pass."

Silence reigned in the library room and I was rather glad Arwen was there because she wrested one of my hands from Rhov and gently spoke to me in Elvish, soft and soothing words of comfort and peace. The thing about understanding all the languages was odd because I could hear the language even though I understood it.

After a while, the dizziness went away. Thank goodness there wasn't that ice cold feel to my skin like the last time. I noticed that the sunlight in the room had changed, it was now a golden glow and shining in from the west windows. I wondered how long I had been in that trance or whatever it was. Definitely more than a few hours since I had been dragged in by Leyla. That had been before mid-morning.

Astounded, I glanced around and not one of the elves was missing and all appeared to be in the same exact places they had been before. I snarled and shoved Rhov's and Arwen's hands away. Their patience was disgustingly perfect. They all stared at me in surprise. I guess my expression had been pretty frightening and I noticed a couple of the strange elves were holding their robes as if to pull out a dagger if I went off the deep end. I grinned maliciously. "I though you weren't afraid of us little, weak humans." My voice was shockingly hoarse and now they did back away a few steps. I sounded like a mad woman. I saw Arwen and Rhov glance at each other and then at Elrond.

Elrond nodded. "Lady Adlanniel, perhaps it would be better if you went to your room and rest. We will speak of this tomorrow."

Elated, I tried to jump out of the chair and realized I could barely move. I was so sore and my whole body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. Rhov picked me up and headed out of the library and towards my room with Arwen following along, one of my hands recaptured in hers.

"I am sorry, Adlanniel." Rhov said softly. "If I had known that such a thing could have happened, I would have found some other way."

I looked up at him and his strange brown face was so puppy-dog sad I had to grin. It really was nice to be carried around like a feather by a handsome elf and be fretted over by Arwen.

"No worries, elf. Besides, there wasn't another way and we all know it. I just hope this is a temporary gift. If ever I wished a gift receipt came with a present if would be this one." I said and tried to pat Rhov's arm but it refused to move. "What happened though? We were in there all day!"

Arwen stroked my hand and shook her beautiful head. "We will not speak of it until tomorrow. My father had ordered you to rest and so you shall. I shall stay with you and make sure that you will be at peace this night."

Rhov nodded. "I as well." He glanced down at my incredulous face and gave me a tight smile. "I would not have something happen to you. I am at fault for this and it is my duty to keep you safe from harm."

I frowned. How nice, I was his duty. I peeked over at Arwen and she smirked at me. She knew about my wretched crush on Rhov and how much I hoped I was something more than a curiosity to him. I glared back at her and slowly shook my head and immediately felt dizzy. Wretched elf.

Arwen had Rhov set me down on the bed and then kicked him out so she could prepare me for sleep. As strong as elves are, Arwen still couldn't haul me around like Rhov could so she just helped me haul off my green overdress, pull of my soft boots, and braid my hair. Covering me up with the blanket, Arwen began to sing a soft elvish lullaby I recognized from time when Legolas would sing it to me when I was feeling particularly homesick.

I remember the door opening and Rhov and Arwen both conversing softly and then I was out like someone had hit me over the head with a two-by-four. Acting as a radio for the Maian frequencies was certainly energy draining and I instantly felt for my poor radio back home that I always had on.

I awoke to the sound of a tenor voice singing a Mirkwood drinking song. There are times when I really hate the fact that I can understand everything. Woodelves like their drink and quite a few other things and I don't enjoy hearing that stuff first thing in the morning.

"Shut up you miserable donkey!" I yelled flinging a pillow in the direction of the voice which silenced instantly and then my eyes opened. I was awake now and felt groggy and grumpy. Wondering if I had actually tossed the pillow, I glanced around. Rhov was holding the pillow with a very stunned look on his face while Arwen stood in the doorway a tray in her hands and her mouth open. They both stared at me until I couldn't stand it.

"What?" I said.

Rhov lost his shocked expression and grimaced at me dropping the pillow. "Finally awake, are we?"

"Less formal this morning, are we?" I grouched back. If I remembered right, he and Arwen had been speaking with incredible formal Elvish last night. Last night? "How long have I been asleep?" I asked as Arwen shut her mouth and set the tray on the table next to my bed.

"Two days, three nights." Rhov said shortly. "You didn't move once all that time. We watched you closely thinking you might stop breathing altogether." He stood up and he did look tired.

"Oh." I said. This was not good. Either I had to become stronger or quit doing this because I just might end up kicking the bucket and then who knows where I would end up.

Arwen sat down on the bed next to me, an extremely serious look on her face. She actually is very scary when she's serious. Whenever she pulls the serious face, I begin regretting all the pranks I've ever played on her. "At least you can hold yourself up now."

I looked down and realized I was sitting up and was feeling normal. "Yes, I'm rather glad about that too. If they ever give me special powers I refuse to be the Iron Man. It's no fun lugging around all that extra weight." I ignored the normal rolling of eyes that went on when I mentioned something foreign and enjoyed being able to lift and lower my own arms without help.

Rhov came and sat down next to Arwen. "Is it possible for you to..." He paused glancing at me calculatingly.

I sighed and nodded. "Yes. Just keep me away from any musical instruments. If I paraphrase it probably won't affect me." At their questioning looks I added, "I don't want to speak their language directly, it has too much power in it."

Rhov nodded and stood up. "I will inform Lord Elrond. In the evening?"

"That is a negative, Ghost Rider." I answered. "I want to get this over with as soon as possible. Arwen and I..." A very loud growl interrupted me and I blushed as Rhov and Arwen smiled shamelessly. "Alright fine. Once I eat something, then we'll have our confab."

Rhov chuckled and strode out of my small room. The second he was gone, I pounced on the tray Arwen had brought. To my supreme disappointment, it was only two full teacups.

"It was for Rhov and I. We didn't know when you would wake up. I'll find you something while you get dressed." Arwen said and she left.

Much as I wanted to get my interview with Elrond out of the way (no doubt the ambassadors would be there as well), I was also quite loathe to say anything. That sleep had somehow cleared everything up like Adobe Photoshop on a blurred and grainy photograph. It was not a very happy scenario I was getting and I was very afraid that what I had seen was supposed to happen and that there was absolutely nothing I or anyone else could do to stop the events. I wasn't even sure if they had already happened or were still a part of the future. I rather hoped I was wrong all the way around.

Pulling out a new underdress from the clothing shelf in the bathroom it struck me that there was no way all of this was happening to me because of my brother's time machine. No matter how strange and mixed-up that genius devil kid was, his machine shouldn't have been able to give me all this strange power. And besides that, none of the Maia stuff had shown up until I got here to Rivendell and the Fellowship had been assembled. Besides, it also couldn't suspend my aging; human bodies are wired to break down and I hadn't even had a cold while I was here. Mulling this over, I fished out the other clothes I needed from the small clothing cabinet and closed the cherry wood doors just as Arwen entered along with a mouth watering smell.

Slipping into the clean underdress, I splashed some water on my face and raced out of the bathroom. Arwen had been followed by one of the kitchen elves who was just setting down a tray heaped with all sorts of delectable food. Ten minutes of silent, serious eating later, I pushed away the empty tray and smiled. Both Arwen and the kitchen elf were glaring at me, arms crossed and brows knitted. Generally, elves like to enjoy their food, taking forever to finish a meal. Gorging is frowned upon.

"I couldn't help it. That food was absolutely delicious and besides, I'm American. We eat food fast but we still enjoy it." I said and then frowned. What I had said was just a tad close to the truth, especially if the food and fast were switched around.

My reverie was broken as the kitchen elf picked up the tray and swept out of the room. Behind his sniff of superiority, I thought I saw a gleam of satisfaction in his round blue eyes. Elves come in all shapes and sizes like humans, and this fellow was the closest to a pudgy elf I'd seen. Feeling much more cheerful with my stomach filled, I finished dressing.

Finally finished, Arwen and I made our way through the Last Homely House to Elrond's private library. I had only been in there a few times but it was my favorite place in the House. It was quiet, peaceful with large windows that were always open with fresh air blowing the sheer curtains gently against the dark brown bookcases. Trees were outside and in every small breeze the tiny leaves rustled a sweet song. I had a feeling that Elrond spend a lot of time in there. No doubt the fact it was such a peaceful room was the reason Elrond had chosen it for my translation. Nice of old Elrond. Of course, he just probably was going to do everything possible to keep the drama from becoming extreme. Not that I blame him, it was bad enough for me, let alone everyone else involved to always be wondering if I was going to die.

We reached the closed doors of the library and I had a thought. Grabbing Arwen's hand before it turned the doorknob, I pulled her back and around the corner. Arwen's face was bemused but not surprised. Considering what I had been through, no doubt she figured I was having second thoughts.

Glancing towards the door to make sure no one had heard us, I turned back to Arwen. "Who are those elves yesterday. I recognized them as the ambassadors from the different elven kingdoms but why were they there?"

Surprised, Arwen said, "It was decided between the lords of the elven realms that these messages of the Maia are for all and so the representatives should be present when the time comes."

I snorted. "Wonderful. I feel like a freak show for the entertainment of bored elves."

Arwen sighed. "What is a 'freak'?"

Really, I should just teach American adjectives to elves just for fun. It was the strangest, funniest, most surreal thing to hear elves say things like "freak" and "moron." I grinned despite my irritation. "A freak is something unheard-of, like a dwarf that could be termed beautiful."

"Ah, I think I somewhat understand. It is a strange word. But, however rude Lord Duilion was, they respect your abilities, Adlanniel, and it is a bitter pill to swallow when a human, and a young girl at that, has gifts and powers beyond any known elf." Arwen said. "Perhaps it would be best if you ignored their presence it would help. Lord Duilion was exceedingly surprised by your..."

"My sass? My ridiculous ignorance of the power, distinction, and respectability of said lordling?" I interrupted.

Arwen cocked her head slightly and gave a rather familiar look of hesitation. "Perhaps. Now we should join my father and the others. If we linger, Rhov will panic and come looking for us. He did not show it, but he was quite distressed while you slept."

A warm glow heated up somewhere in my stomach and I grinned, beside myself with a strange delight. "Worried, was he?" I said and I knew I should have felt very ashamed of myself for making the dark-elf worry, but the fact he was worried was far too interesting and delightful to wallow in shame for.

I noticed Arwen barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes.

"Come." Arwen commanded and grabbed my elbow.

"Alright, I'm coming, no need to haul me around like a little kid." I muttered and yanked my arm out of Arwen's hand.

We entered the library, it's cool and peaceful air calming my nerves that were jangling with different emotions. I was so curious to know exactly what Rhov felt about me or at least thought of me, terrified to have to put myself through another oh-my-gosh-I-feel-like-I'm-about-to-die incident, and definitely annoyed by the stupid Lord Duilion and the other stuck up nincompoops.

All from three days ago were there all looking far more openly curious and apprehensive then before. My curiosity about what had happened during my... trance, rose up and I barely resisted the urge to make Rhov or Arwen tell me right then.

Rhov pulled out a chair and motioned for me to sit down. "It will be more comfortable, Lady Adlanniel."

Needing no second urging, I immediately sat down and felt Rhov's hand touch my shoulder gently before he moved away. The one problem I realized by sitting was that I now had to crane my neck to look at the others.

"Perhaps you could all sit down as well?" I said tentatively. "I would hate to recite my lines with a crick in my neck. In plays, I do believe that the actor makes the audience crane their heads for a better look rather then the other way around." While I felt rather worse than just some actor on a stage, the constant staring was equivalent.

Arwen touched her father gently on his robed shoulder. "She told me earlier your presence makes her feel as a... a freak?" She glanced questioningly towards me, no doubt wondering if she had said the word correctly.

Biting my lip to keep the laughter from exploding out, I merely nodded hastily as the elves in the room turned their high-powered eyes towards Arwen who was blushing slightly.

"Very well." Elrond acquiesced and all found chairs and sat down. Rhov had moved from behind me and taken a seat directly across from me next to Arwen and Lord Elrond. The other elves had situated themselves so that it was a semicircle facing my seat. I felt like a criminal on trial with the entire Supreme Court about ready to bring down their verdict of dire judgment on my head.

That dratted silence drifted over us all. Nervous and scared I looked at Rhov, hoping for some kind look from him. His green eyes were soft, like the moss growing next to the river and he smiled gently and nodded very slightly. Gripping the arms of my chair, I closed my eyes and went back over what I had seen, heard, felt. The surprising part was that I didn't feel any danger, no fear, nothing.


End file.
